Who Wants More Kindness?

A brand new Going Gently self-study course starting Monday

Hello! Most of the things I say in this short video are written underneath. The headline: this Monday you’ll receive the first week of a self-study course on how to be kind and we’ll begin with that most challenging of targets, ourselves. For info on IFS therapy spaces with my spouse Kaspa, my IFS listening workshop & more scroll down.

So. I recently got clearer about my intentions here at Going Gently. The one thing that I think helps us and the world the most is: ✨ self-compassion ✨. When we get better at this, kindness starts oozing out of us and blesses the people, living beings and objects around us.

Our kindness course will begin here - with a story about Ralph-the-dog, a list of Things That Help and an exercise to help all those self-critical parts of us that get in the way of kindness (see the CLEAR check-in, below).

We’ll move on in future weeks to naturally helping others as a result of good self-honesty, self-nourishing and boundary setting, coming into a sweeter relationship with the Earth, and getting better at letting kindness IN. There will also be four short videos on Thursdays to accompany the writing. Receive the whole course by becoming a paid subscriber - a kindness both to me and to you:

If you want in but you can’t afford it right now, let me know. If you’re already a Supporter fear not - you’ll receive the course automatically. If you don’t step inside then you’ll get a good long break from me during March and I’ll be back in April 😊

So - a head-start on the exercise for the first week. This check-in uses the logic of Internal Family Systems and it will help if you’re a little familiar with the concepts but it’s not necessary.

The CLEAR check-in is designed to help our self-critical parts to relax a teensy bit so compassion can flow around them. Follow the steps below whenever you notice that you’re not being kind to yourself, and if anything doesn’t feel comfortable at any point, just step away from whatever you’re doing and do something else instead.

⭐ First, Clock the part of you that is being mean to you (or if British slang doesn’t work for you, become Conscious of it).

⭐ Listen to it for a while, if you are willing. Tune in… What is it saying? What tone is it using? Is it familiar? Where do you feel it in your body?

⭐ Engage with this part of you - but only if you are curious or feel compassionate towards it - shouting at it to go away is understandable but it won’t help. Ask the ‘go-away’ bit (or any other bits) to step aside and then get to know the self-critical one - why is it doing that job for you? What might happen if it stopped? What else would it like you to know? Hopefully, some new understanding may ensue.

⭐ At the end of your conversation, Appreciate the part if it feels possible. Thank it for working so hard for you, even if it does cause some chaos.

⭐ Release the part to get on with its day - hopefully it will be a little more relaxed now, and so will you be.

We’ll talk more about this on Monday but if you have any questions in the meantime, let me know.

I’m looking forward to getting started ✨

Go gently,
Satya <3
(keep reading for some other things I want to tell you about…)

My IFS therapy practice is currently full but my spouse Kaspa has one or possibly two spaces - their IFS therapy site is here. I’m biased, but they are very good 😊

I’m running a one-off Zoom workshop for anyone wanting to use IFS to become a better listener - not guaranteed to improve your relationships, but I can pretty confidently say that it will help. More details here.

If you’re Buddhist-curious, my sangha Bright Earth has just started an online practice group - we meet every other Wednesday at 7.30pm UK time (2.30pm EST) and the next one is March 6th. It’s a small group at the moment and is suitable for both beginners or experienced practitioners. Details here or just have a look at our Bright Earth site.

Finally by lunchtime tomorrow I will have completed half of my year of twice-daily prayers to the Earth - one on Zoom every morning at 8am UK time, and one later in the day in my local town. Hurray! If you’d like to join me online or even in person over the next 6 months you’d be so welcome - details here and my little monthly newsletter about it is here.

There - enough links already! Happy day x

In warmer weather… and it’s just starting to warm up again!