Enjoy Your Life

On my dad's last days

There is a song that never fails to bring me to tears. It begins with the late opera singer Maggie Hollis telling us in Italian that life is sweet, life is sweet, and it blossoms and blooms until it strains my heart. By the time Beverly Glenn-Copeland is singing that we should enjoy our life, I am undone.

Over the past weeks, my dad has been dying. This fact has been taking up a swathes of my brain all week as I have gone about my ordinary life - doing the washing up, replying to emails, going to meetings.

My dad in his days of being an instrument engineer

I am holding the details of his dying close to me - they don’t want to be spoken of just yet - but there have been visits and phone calls, practical arrangements, swoops of emotion and a persistent surreal quality. Every so often I realise with a jolt of surprise, my parent is nearly gone! I am forty eight years old, he has been ill a long time, and still…

This morning I opened a new jar of jam to spread on my toast. Wild strawberry. As I sat by the window and ate it I thought: dad is dying, and I am eating strawberry jam, and it is delicious. Dad observed once, with a mixture of disapproval and approval, that I spread my jam very thick.

Later I will drive to be with him. This morning I will answer email, see a client, go food shopping. I will point myself towards enjoying my life. Dad had a rough start, and so it wasn’t always easy for him to do. I will do it for him. I will do it for us all, and turn it into an offering, as the gratitude blossoms and blooms around me.

I hope you do too.

Go gently,
Satya <3

🌻

In memory of my dad Harold Vernon Hall, 14.1.1941 - 19.4.2023

I’m copying the full lyrics of the song below but I’d love for you to listen to it. Maybe it will also open your heart.

Per amore
Ascolta il cantore
Lui che canta
Che la vita e bella
Pace, pace
La vita e dolce
Grazie, grazie
Dal cuore, grazie

And I work and I work all day and night
I wonder if I'm ever gonna get it right
I push and I push to get ahead
I know I gotta make my daily bread (ascolta il cantore)

I know I don't have time to lose
I wonder if I really have time to choose
I barely have time to shed a tear
I hardly have time to shake the fear (lui che canta)

And the body says, "Remember you gotta breathe"
The body says, "Take the time to grieve"
The mind says, "Let the silence flow"
The mind says, "Allow yourself to grow" (che la vita e bella)

The spirit says, "Cast your eyes above"
The spirit says, " Fill your heart with love"
The heart says, "Seek the light within"
The heart says, "Let the dance begin" (pace, pace)

And my mother says to me, "Enjoy your life"
My mother says to me, "Enjoy your life" (la vita e dolce)
My mother says to me, "Enjoy your life"
My mother says to me, "Enjoy your life" (dal cuore, grazie)

Per amore
Ascolta il cantore
Lui che canta
Che la vita e bella
My mother says to me, "Enjoy your life, darling" (pace, pace)

🌻 🌻 🌻