What Will Your Three Wishes Be?

Join me in a joyful wishing adventure...

My first wish… from Termatree

Last week I made three BIG wishes. The first has already come true.

I’m not usually the wishing sort, but I had just finished Noelle Oxenhandler’s memoir, The Wishing Year. Around the time of her 50th birthday she finds herself without a home or a partner, and she is also in dire need of spiritual healing. Inspired by her go-getting friend Carole, she takes a deep breath and makes a wish for all three.

I could identify with many of Oxenhandler’s complicated tangles around wishing. As a Buddhist she had been taught that there were ‘good’ things to wish for (greater equanimity, world peace) and that a desire for material possessions was a spiritual and moral failing. She didn’t believe in the Secret-style rhetoric that proposes we can manifest whatever we need if we blast out positive thoughts. She wasn’t sure that she was worthy of the things she wanted.

After finishing the book (spoiler: she gets her stuff!) I found myself sat in my office early one morning, journal in hand, toying with the idea of making my own wishes. Was I allowed? What if it didn’t work? With decades of spiritual experience behind, me, shouldn’t I be over this kind of thing by now?

The biggest obstacle was the thought that I didn’t deserve the things I wanted. There was a reluctance to take material goods away from people who needed them more than me - there’s only a finite amount of resources on our dear Earth, right? As a Global Northerner, I already receive way more than most. And more insidiously, there was the belief that it would be ‘cheating’ to benefit from wishes - that I only deserved things if I worked so hard for them that it hurt me.

Once I had seen these things inside me with clarity and compassion, I felt free to proceed. I decided that I would see the wish-making as a playful experiment. I am already blessed in so many ways. My come-true-wishes would be icing on the already very good vegan cake, rather than my bread and butter. I wrote three things onto a piece of paper, decided on the 1st of May 2024 as my deadline, folded them into a little red organza bag and put them away into a box.

A few days later I found myself browsing the Termatree website. Since discovering the company a few years ago I have coveted one of their Buddhas with great gusto. They are so beautiful - and so expensive! I wanted an Amitabha Buddha, the Buddha I have a special connection with, but previously I had much preferred their other Buddhas - the ones that were bursting with colour. Today I landed on one I hadn’t seen before - an Amitabha that shone like the many-coloured jewels in the Pure Land.

I wrote to the company. They offered me an interest-free payment plan. I looked carefully at my savings. I sent my first payment.

I still can’t quite believe that this Buddha is coming to live with me. The opulence! The marvel! My audacity! As I write, the joy is swelling my heart and seeping out through my fingers.

Will my other two wishes come true? I’ll tell you on the 1st of May 2023, or maybe before if I’m lucky. Either way, I am glad that I have entered into this experiment. It has been vitalising to think about the things that will fill me with joy, give me a deliciously grounding sense of security, and allow me to do more of what I love (little clues!). It has been helpful to meet the wounded parts of me that feel not-enough - never-enough - and think about how I might start sending them drops of love. It has been fun!

Now I’m here, I find myself hesitant to suggest that you join me in my wishing experiment. Am I setting you up to fail? Am I encouraging the worst sort of selfishness? Am I perpetuating our toxic Western privilege, lack of empathy and entitlement?

My new Buddha is telling me - no. You are allowed to want things. You are allowed to want other people to have what they want. My friend Terry, after I sent him a guilty email with a photo of my Buddha-to-be, said: “your ‘desire’ for this beautiful figure was not the greed of possession but for love of the Buddha, our practice and your own aspirations, and the inspiration it can afford your students and clients. It is not a wanting for self-gratification.”  

I think that his kind words are both true and not true. There is the pure glee of WANTING in me, the happy greed of possession, and right now I don’t feel a need to apologise for that. I also think that, if I can offer myself excellent care, I will be more able to be present for the suffering of others. The blessings of this Buddha will overflow and will benefit others as well as me. I’m hoping that this message to you is proof of that, that it is already happening.

Because I would like you to be happy. If it feels right for you, go ahead and make your three wishes. Maybe a little unexpected magic will happen, and maybe not. Either way, you will be opening your heart a teensy bit to the glory that is all around us. I think that the Universe wants you to be happy too.

With extra love (and don’t forget to go gently),
Satya <3

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