This is excellent, Satya! Thanks for re-sharing this post today. It hit the spot for me. I often wake up a little anxious and a little self-critical. This post really helped me to access that sense of self-forgiveness that I consider my inner power but that I sometimes can't quite remember how to use.
Glad to hear it. Yes I think it comes to us all from time to time! Glad you could access it - it's always just there, isn't it? But sometimes feels very far away... good wishes to you 🙏🏻
Brene Brown discusses envy in Atlas of the Heart and she suggests there is benign envy “oh I see what that writer has and it has crystalised that I want something very like that so now I have Feelings” and there is a darker, more malign envy: “she has what I want so I want more than to have it too, I want her NOT to have it & then I will be appeased”. Your envy seems benign and human. Mostly we want connection, for our words to land in another heart and create a circuit.
Thanks Michelle - interesting to differentiate between the different kinds - and I would love to agree with you but I definitely have some 'darker envy' mixed in. But that's okay because I know that even that is trying to help me/protect me in some way, and that if I am kind to it, it will be able to relax a little bit... Lovely to have you here!
It gets us all at some time doesn’t it Satya? I love that you shown how you can explore and question its motivation with curiosity. The voice of comparison is quieter for me these days, but still needs soothing from time to time. 🙏💫
Thank you for this, and the lovely poem at the end. I struggle with envy, myself. I'll try to cup my hands. Today, you received four times as many likes as I do on average, if that makes you feel better! ;)
Hehe, four times as many likes as I do on average too 😂 and you know what, it DID make me feel better. Until the next post........ seems like I still have a little work to do too!
Always appreciate your wisdom and gentle loving kindness toward all that lies within. You remind me to turn toward myself Satya, very grateful. And yes, Martha Postlewaite...love!
I love the honesty here. I've definitely felt this way about writers here who I admire that are farther along, and I don't want to get so caught up in numbers that I forget why I really wanted to write here to begin with. I've been trying to shift my focus to what it is I like about them and what they offer, and to find threads of those things in my own self and work.
Like you mentioned, I'm not meant to be doing the exact same work (or even on the same scale) as them, but I can notice what I *am* doing and what I want to me doing more of.
I always appreciate when someone whose work I respect talks about these very human feelings publicly. It makes me feel more human, too. And it helps me give myself more grace and work through those feelings in a healthier way. Thank you for sharing!
Very well said. One thing I heard once that I try to hang onto when these feelings start gnawing me: Oprah once asked Stephen Colbert about being #1 (of what specifically I can’t remember. Show rating?). He cracked some joke but then said seriously, “It means I get to keep doing the work.” That resonated hugely for me. There’s a lot I’d like to achieve but at core all I really want is to keep doing the work.
Thanks A - I think it's something many of us have in common, however 'far along' we are (I'm thinking of Antonia's comment here - is there a 'far along' at all??) I feel better for having written it too : )
Very beautiful Satya, and a great example of how "negative" voices often, if not always, have a positive, caring motivation, even if they don't record it very well. And mine is now saying to me (a new writer here) "how can you be more like Satya!". Well I'm sure that if I try too hard to be like you it won't work, so I'll dig a bit deeper and find my own positive messages. Thanks again. John
I agree, and I'd say ALL voices have a positive intention for us - however much chaos they cause! And yes, a fine line between being inspired by others, and really moving forwards into being ourselves. And, thank you : )
I read a long time ago that paying attention to what or who you're jealous of can help clarify what your goals are, your "true north." (I think it was in The Artist's Way but could have been elsewhere.) I've always found that helpful. I like your way of talking with yourself! When I'm really stuck on writing or a personal problem, I interview myself in a notebook. It can be disconcerting but revealing.
I honestly think that a lot of envy when it comes to something like writing success is the scarcity that a capitalist system forces us all into. There are plenty of readers for all the words anyone wants to share, but only so many grants, bylines, book contracts, whatever. It creates hierarchy, too, telling us that anyone who achieves those things must be better than everyone else. But why do those things exist at all?! Truthfully what I want is for nobody to need them, to not ever feel a compulsion to strive for them. Most of us are always trying to create better art simply because we must, because we love it.
What a pleasure to run into you here Antonia! And yes, that capitalism and artificial scarcity thing. The world needs us to write more than it needs is in jobs that create nothing but carbon dioxide and billionaires. Satya, I appreciate you. 🙏
I'm really interested in that Antonia - that a capitalist mindset exacerbates the tribulations of being a writer - makes a lot of sense! And yes, absolutely - that's what I return to - the bedrock - I write because I must, and because I love it. Thank you for the reminder.
I mean, I do think the envy is there anyway, which is why I like the framing of it being a compass. But it’s made so much worse by the artificially created hierarchies and rewards that come with them.
Absolutely, Thank you Satya for the story of envy’s power to distract us from using our own talents in bringing love to those we work with and support. I confess I have been driven by envy for many decades wishing I could recreate myself in the role of a physician. To imagine myself diminishing a patient’s pain and looking for acknowledgment of my role of healer. It was born out of early injury creating in me a natural leaning toward being protective of others.
I once read that all writers are riddled with self-doubt. Those feelings come into play when we see and envy others who are successful while we're still plodding along or procrastinating. I like the perspective you gave on envy as something that spurs you onward to keep going and keep striving. As an artist (painter/writer) I always tell my fellow artists that your art is what it is, and you do a disservice to say "it's not good enough." or "this artist is better than I am." Comparison is the thief of joy. What you create has inherent value and so do you. Thank you for this thoughtful piece.
Nice to meet you too Satya 😊
If I can’t do great things, I’ll do small things in a great way 💖
Very wise! Good to meet you Grace.
Bold and beautiful sharing with the community! Let the sun rise 🌄 and your time will come...🙏🏼
Thank you Fernanda! In many ways it's already here... good to meet you 🙏🏻
This is excellent, Satya! Thanks for re-sharing this post today. It hit the spot for me. I often wake up a little anxious and a little self-critical. This post really helped me to access that sense of self-forgiveness that I consider my inner power but that I sometimes can't quite remember how to use.
Well done, and thank you!
Glad to hear it. Yes I think it comes to us all from time to time! Glad you could access it - it's always just there, isn't it? But sometimes feels very far away... good wishes to you 🙏🏻
Reading this with great recognition and then rounding through with the beautiful poem landing so true brought tears.
Welcome Marie - and yes, the poem made me cry too : ) Glad it resonated x
Brene Brown discusses envy in Atlas of the Heart and she suggests there is benign envy “oh I see what that writer has and it has crystalised that I want something very like that so now I have Feelings” and there is a darker, more malign envy: “she has what I want so I want more than to have it too, I want her NOT to have it & then I will be appeased”. Your envy seems benign and human. Mostly we want connection, for our words to land in another heart and create a circuit.
Thanks Michelle - interesting to differentiate between the different kinds - and I would love to agree with you but I definitely have some 'darker envy' mixed in. But that's okay because I know that even that is trying to help me/protect me in some way, and that if I am kind to it, it will be able to relax a little bit... Lovely to have you here!
It gets us all at some time doesn’t it Satya? I love that you shown how you can explore and question its motivation with curiosity. The voice of comparison is quieter for me these days, but still needs soothing from time to time. 🙏💫
Thank you for this, and the lovely poem at the end. I struggle with envy, myself. I'll try to cup my hands. Today, you received four times as many likes as I do on average, if that makes you feel better! ;)
Hehe, four times as many likes as I do on average too 😂 and you know what, it DID make me feel better. Until the next post........ seems like I still have a little work to do too!
Always appreciate your wisdom and gentle loving kindness toward all that lies within. You remind me to turn toward myself Satya, very grateful. And yes, Martha Postlewaite...love!
Thanks Gaye - always lovely to have you here.
I love the honesty here. I've definitely felt this way about writers here who I admire that are farther along, and I don't want to get so caught up in numbers that I forget why I really wanted to write here to begin with. I've been trying to shift my focus to what it is I like about them and what they offer, and to find threads of those things in my own self and work.
Like you mentioned, I'm not meant to be doing the exact same work (or even on the same scale) as them, but I can notice what I *am* doing and what I want to me doing more of.
I always appreciate when someone whose work I respect talks about these very human feelings publicly. It makes me feel more human, too. And it helps me give myself more grace and work through those feelings in a healthier way. Thank you for sharing!
Very well said. One thing I heard once that I try to hang onto when these feelings start gnawing me: Oprah once asked Stephen Colbert about being #1 (of what specifically I can’t remember. Show rating?). He cracked some joke but then said seriously, “It means I get to keep doing the work.” That resonated hugely for me. There’s a lot I’d like to achieve but at core all I really want is to keep doing the work.
nice!
Thanks A - I think it's something many of us have in common, however 'far along' we are (I'm thinking of Antonia's comment here - is there a 'far along' at all??) I feel better for having written it too : )
Very beautiful Satya, and a great example of how "negative" voices often, if not always, have a positive, caring motivation, even if they don't record it very well. And mine is now saying to me (a new writer here) "how can you be more like Satya!". Well I'm sure that if I try too hard to be like you it won't work, so I'll dig a bit deeper and find my own positive messages. Thanks again. John
I agree, and I'd say ALL voices have a positive intention for us - however much chaos they cause! And yes, a fine line between being inspired by others, and really moving forwards into being ourselves. And, thank you : )
Thanks for sharing your vows and I hope you write more about those soon.
Hey John, good to see you here! And thank you - good idea - maybe I will!
I read a long time ago that paying attention to what or who you're jealous of can help clarify what your goals are, your "true north." (I think it was in The Artist's Way but could have been elsewhere.) I've always found that helpful. I like your way of talking with yourself! When I'm really stuck on writing or a personal problem, I interview myself in a notebook. It can be disconcerting but revealing.
I honestly think that a lot of envy when it comes to something like writing success is the scarcity that a capitalist system forces us all into. There are plenty of readers for all the words anyone wants to share, but only so many grants, bylines, book contracts, whatever. It creates hierarchy, too, telling us that anyone who achieves those things must be better than everyone else. But why do those things exist at all?! Truthfully what I want is for nobody to need them, to not ever feel a compulsion to strive for them. Most of us are always trying to create better art simply because we must, because we love it.
What a pleasure to run into you here Antonia! And yes, that capitalism and artificial scarcity thing. The world needs us to write more than it needs is in jobs that create nothing but carbon dioxide and billionaires. Satya, I appreciate you. 🙏
Appreciating you right back, John!
Ah, John, thank you. Bowing back from here 🙏 and lovely to have you here.
I'm really interested in that Antonia - that a capitalist mindset exacerbates the tribulations of being a writer - makes a lot of sense! And yes, absolutely - that's what I return to - the bedrock - I write because I must, and because I love it. Thank you for the reminder.
I mean, I do think the envy is there anyway, which is why I like the framing of it being a compass. But it’s made so much worse by the artificially created hierarchies and rewards that come with them.
And you do the writing beautifully, by the way!
Thank you for sharing, envy tends to be something I'd prefer to hide away! What thought provoking questions asked with kindness
(me too!)
Absolutely, Thank you Satya for the story of envy’s power to distract us from using our own talents in bringing love to those we work with and support. I confess I have been driven by envy for many decades wishing I could recreate myself in the role of a physician. To imagine myself diminishing a patient’s pain and looking for acknowledgment of my role of healer. It was born out of early injury creating in me a natural leaning toward being protective of others.
Makes sense Carl. And, I'm sure you've brought healing to others in all kinds of other ways.
I once read that all writers are riddled with self-doubt. Those feelings come into play when we see and envy others who are successful while we're still plodding along or procrastinating. I like the perspective you gave on envy as something that spurs you onward to keep going and keep striving. As an artist (painter/writer) I always tell my fellow artists that your art is what it is, and you do a disservice to say "it's not good enough." or "this artist is better than I am." Comparison is the thief of joy. What you create has inherent value and so do you. Thank you for this thoughtful piece.
'Comparison is the thief of joy' - I love it! Thanks for being here Virginia.