I so relate to your framing of quitting social media as a kind of trust exercise. I've been thinking a lot lately about my pie-in-the-sky dreams for my Substack. A few weeks ago, I decided the ultimate luxury would be to outsource the social piece of it (which admittedly I'm not fully committed to because I'm not seeing great results from it), but then I started seeing more and more big names of people here who quit social media altogether, and I thought, "Could I really do that?" and "When would I feel safe enough to do that?" In my gut, I am feeling that whisper to let my social accounts go, but I'm still not quite ready. In the past, my inner voice has been practically screaming at me before I make a major decision, like when I finally decided it was time to quit diets and stop measuring my self-worth by my appearance. I'm still learning to trust and let go.
I identify Kristi - I was thinking only today that I miss being able to share my Substack posts on Facebook! I'll do some thinking at some point about how I might help spread the word about my writing here as it feels uncomfortable to rely ENTIRELY on Substack's own mechanism to do that. But maybe that's okay... I think it's great to respect the natural process of letting go which, as you say, can take a long time. There's no hurry : ) Great to have you here.
It is a little scary to put all the eggs in one basket, but also it must be so liberating to say no more to the things that we don't enjoy doing. Congrats to you and I'm excited to be here!
It's up and down for me. I'm not on Twitter/X anymore, rarely on Facebook (just for a few family members), I have no clue what to do with Linkedin, but I am still on Instagram. Tiktok is just not for me.
Sometimes I like IG very much, other times it's like flogging a dead horse. I miss the community feel on IG the most. I'm not leaving yet because I depend for my sales on the platform. I've build a strong newsletter audience (not on Substack but a regular newsletter), but with that it's hard to reach new audiences. I feel it's still easiest with Instagram.
What I truly miss is that 'old school internet' feeling. Back in 2002, it was all about interacting with others, building connections. I really miss that. I feel it's more about showing yourself these days, like you're an entertainer, if you know what I mean?
I used to love Facebook for the connections, remember when it was chronological and you could easily stay up to date with what your friends and family were doing? Those were the days.
Starting a business 4 years ago made me obsess about being on allll the platforms alll the time. I felt awful, the highs and lows just wiping me out - as you say, that promise that maybe, just maybe, you were just around the corner from Making It Big! oooof. I couldn't give them up, because, well, I might miss something, but I also kinda missed me...
It was only coming here with a level of seriousness that has made me actually forget to log in elsewhere... I dip in occasionally, but the notifications are meaningless and it's like walking into a football stadium trying to catch your mate's attention in 20 seconds; impossible and overwhelming.
It's wonderful to look back and see how unimportant it's all become - yay!
As always, Satya, you inspire me -- and I thank you for that. I'm also inspired by many of the comments here. I've never been on Instagram or Twitter/X, only FB. I am impressed by your bold move of getting off FB. It eats up so much of my evenings, when I'm mentally soft and not good for much else. But I'd like to spend that time meditating instead of mindlessly scrolling through junk. Or reading an actual book. Speaking of which ... I am currently shopping a book manuscript to agents and publishers. And it's disheartening how many of them (ALL of them) want to know what my Twitter "handle" is, etc. And the many who insist that an "author platform" (i.e. social media presence) is mandatory for publishing success. Ugh. I've had more than one agent say they won't even consider representing an author unless the author has a minimum of 10K followers on social media. Uhhhh .... I have 300 people subscribing to my Substack. Sorry I don't measure up to these insane measures of "success."
I hate that 'existing social media' expectation of authors these days. What about GOOD WRITING??!!!! Good luck with it - you are a massive success in my eyes x
So sweet of you, Satya; thank you. If I can't get the elitist publishing industry to pay me any attention, I'll just self-publish. And by the way, I'm sooo glad you are not exiting this platform. It would be heartbreaking to lose touch totally with your goodness and your inspiration! 🙏🏽
I've been contemplating this for a while. I haven't come to any conclusions yet, but I think I've naturally been moving away from social media for a while. I doubt I'll ever fully let it go, as there are things I really love about it, but I'm getting to a point where I am realizing that I just want to make more room for other things.
2020 was the straw that broke the camel's back for me, as I posted things I didn't think were inflammatory or controversial, but they were perceived that way.
I have retreated to private groups only, so I seem to have found a middle ground that works well for me, where I can still feel safe. Good for you for getting away from those toxic waste dumps, Satya!
I still use it to flag my posts here. There are a few I follow on Instagram, mostly writers or vegans or family. Facebook for a couple of local groups. I'm down to a few minutes a day on each.
Yes, I used to enjoy sharing my SS posts on FB and sometimes got extra readers... and I miss the vegan groups too! And Notes... me too!!! We can keep an eye on each other ;)
I’ve only ever been on FB. Years ago I had a business page there as well as a personal one, but one day I realized that I simply did not want to “have to” post there regularly. More broadly, I did not want to use it to “promote” what I do. So I deleted it. I’ve had a website for 20+ years and a blog for almost that long, and I felt like that’s where I wanted to channel my time and energy. My thinking has always been that I’m going to cross paths with certain people in this life — they’re going to find me as a teacher — and that is absolutely not dependent on how well I advertise myself. And it’s been true. I have way more website visits than I ever had FB hits.
I deactivated my personal FB 6 months ago and don’t miss it. Only two “friends” noticed and emailed to ask what was going on. I’m good with that.
No one ever notices when I leave social media, either. I will say, people do notice when I stop writing newsletters or back in the day, when I stopped writing on my blog. They missed it. So there's that two cents.
I love the way you frame this, as trusting the universe to take care of us. Yes, exactly. I think in a strange way, doing spells is taking the place of social media for me. I'm sending energy out into the universe in a much less destructive way. And I don't get the immediate gratification of a bunch of likes, but that's okay.
This is really something I’m struggling with. Others around me are too. I’ve heard so many people say within the lost month or so that they need to quit instagram - we’re collectively feeling a shift. I hope we listen to ourselves. Thank you!
I think I'm happy enough with my current relationship with social media - which is to say, I deactivated my Instagram account last week, and intend to delete it after the waiting period, leaving me with just Facebook. I only have around 120 Facebook friends, quite a few of whom are childhood friends with whom Facebook is my only form of contact. For that reason alone, I will probably keep it, but I rarely post on there these days, and feel bored within seconds of logging in and scrolling... As I did on Instagram, which I used (to dwindling effect) for my blog/photography. Although: I have noticed that I have lost the urge to take photos since abandoning Instagram, and that feels sad. Was I - despite the tiny number of likes I would get - mostly taking photos in an attempt to get noticed? Surely if I were doing it purely for pleasure,sharing them on Instagram would be immaterial... Wouldn't it? (Rhetorical question!) Hmm. As for promoting my blog, social media feels like a waste of effort.... and I am increasingly feeling that overwhelming insignificance on Substack, too, but - I haven't posted any writing for nearly two months, so, I can't grumble ;) xx
Sounds like a good relationship to me : ) I had nearly 5K 'friends', a very different thing. I wonder if you could share your photos with a few friends instead? I think i'ts human to want our art to be seen/read etc... and sorry to hear about your falling out of love with Substack - I for one am waiting hopefully for your next piece.... 😊
I agree, a lot of us make art for the joy it will bring others as well as ourselves. Instagram can be great for seeing the beauty of other places and the outdoors if you are unable to access them for yourself. Supernova is quite new and seems to be very much like old instagram, just about beautiful images. I also line the wilding app, which encourage tryouts to connect with nature through challenges and uploading photos and videos.
A great article. I have been thinking a lot about social media use, and to be honest use of my phone in general across all apps, internet etc. I often feel I don’t have enough time for creative endeavours, reading, cooking and gardening yet regularly spend 4-5 hours a day using my phone. Granted some of that is listening to podcasts etc but it’s an awful lot of time not necessary well spent.
I noticed only because you said so, but the fact is that I see you here which feels more of an intimate connection than you rolling by on FB. I've tweaked and honed my social media use over many years; yes, there's wonderful good - my entire spiritual / Buddhist journey has taken place online and I bow deeply to that. And there's the obvious bad, but more damaging is the not so obvious bad. A year or so ago I noticed that my creative practice was less spontaneous, more confused, less productive - it took me a while to understand that I was constantly comparing myself with other artists (unfavourably), and taking endless art courses. Instead of allowing all of that to gently inform my own art, I put myself under pressure to 'perform', often rejecting and even destroying work because it wasn't 'good enough' to post on Instagram. Ugh! I'm still working with this, engaging much less, trying to recover my pre-Insta spontaneity. I'd hate to lose touch with you and that's extra motivation to find ways, like commenting here, to make sure that doesn't happen. Bows!
I am very happy to be connected to you in other ways Frankie! And, yours was one of the names I was always happy to see in my FB feed. Great insight around your art - compare compare despair... glad you're finding a way back to freedom!
Same here Satya, and I think that's what it comes down to in the end, we realise who we value and then find a way to stay in touch. Have a good evening :)
As you ask, I was a FB addict, properly hooked, using it as my main communication, my main creative outlet, my main contact and stimulus. And did cold turkey, ( the only way for me), just before lockdown. In spite of that inauspicious timing, I have never for one moment missed it.
Though of course, being a human, and that type of human, I am constantly finding other ways to feed my particular cravings. Long live humanness, in all its brokenness, with all its flaws!
Hurray for you managing cold turkey Janey - sometimes as you say the only way forwards - and great to hear that you've not missed it. And, as you say, the sneaky parts that keep looking for new places to do their thing... as you say, let's love those bits too!
Tell me: How is your current relationship with social media feeling? What do you like?(Let’s celebrate the good stuff.) What don’t you like so much? What tweaks might help you to find more balance? Which of your needs is it meeting? What other ways might you meet the needs that social media meets (or attempts to meet)?
Great food for thought Satya. I don’t have sound notifications on any social media ( not true, it is on Messenger for some reason), as I don’t want to be tempted (forced?) to look at my phone the minute something comes in.
But I was horrified to be told by my phone that I’d been on it for an average of 3 1/2 hours a day last week 🙀 Much is discussions with friends; I don’t have twitter/X as it’s too antagonistic (& I don’t really understand how it works!).
But Facebook! Oh Facebook! I’ve signed up to too many groups to follow (Peeling Paint Society anybody?) and those Reels! Cute babies! Adorable cats! Maybe there’s an Excessive Use of Exclamation Marks one?!
Like my belly, I need to do a slimming down exercise, before I’m totally dumbed down.
But it is the way, the only way, that I communicate with some people, especially family, with whom I was never particularly close (my immediate family of parents & brother were a tight, almost sealed unit. Which was nice, until both parents died too early, albeit 20 years apart).
So I won’t give up Facebook totally, or my lesser use of Insta (that’s what young people call it apparently) where my young, but distantly located god daughter & 30yr old letter- writing friend post updates of their global travels & endeavours.
But I will slim down who (whom?) I follow on Facebook. Let’s hope it’s more successful than attempts on my belly 🤣
Food is a good parallel isn't it as we need food, and some treats are a good thing (in my mind anyway) but there's a limit... good luck in finding your way forwards, keeping the good bits and losing at least a little of the 'extra social media weight'!!
I so relate to your framing of quitting social media as a kind of trust exercise. I've been thinking a lot lately about my pie-in-the-sky dreams for my Substack. A few weeks ago, I decided the ultimate luxury would be to outsource the social piece of it (which admittedly I'm not fully committed to because I'm not seeing great results from it), but then I started seeing more and more big names of people here who quit social media altogether, and I thought, "Could I really do that?" and "When would I feel safe enough to do that?" In my gut, I am feeling that whisper to let my social accounts go, but I'm still not quite ready. In the past, my inner voice has been practically screaming at me before I make a major decision, like when I finally decided it was time to quit diets and stop measuring my self-worth by my appearance. I'm still learning to trust and let go.
I identify Kristi - I was thinking only today that I miss being able to share my Substack posts on Facebook! I'll do some thinking at some point about how I might help spread the word about my writing here as it feels uncomfortable to rely ENTIRELY on Substack's own mechanism to do that. But maybe that's okay... I think it's great to respect the natural process of letting go which, as you say, can take a long time. There's no hurry : ) Great to have you here.
It is a little scary to put all the eggs in one basket, but also it must be so liberating to say no more to the things that we don't enjoy doing. Congrats to you and I'm excited to be here!
It's up and down for me. I'm not on Twitter/X anymore, rarely on Facebook (just for a few family members), I have no clue what to do with Linkedin, but I am still on Instagram. Tiktok is just not for me.
Sometimes I like IG very much, other times it's like flogging a dead horse. I miss the community feel on IG the most. I'm not leaving yet because I depend for my sales on the platform. I've build a strong newsletter audience (not on Substack but a regular newsletter), but with that it's hard to reach new audiences. I feel it's still easiest with Instagram.
I will miss the community I felt on FB. It's certainly not all bad is it? Such personal decisions. Lovely to have you here Marloes!
What I truly miss is that 'old school internet' feeling. Back in 2002, it was all about interacting with others, building connections. I really miss that. I feel it's more about showing yourself these days, like you're an entertainer, if you know what I mean?
I used to love Facebook for the connections, remember when it was chronological and you could easily stay up to date with what your friends and family were doing? Those were the days.
Starting a business 4 years ago made me obsess about being on allll the platforms alll the time. I felt awful, the highs and lows just wiping me out - as you say, that promise that maybe, just maybe, you were just around the corner from Making It Big! oooof. I couldn't give them up, because, well, I might miss something, but I also kinda missed me...
It was only coming here with a level of seriousness that has made me actually forget to log in elsewhere... I dip in occasionally, but the notifications are meaningless and it's like walking into a football stadium trying to catch your mate's attention in 20 seconds; impossible and overwhelming.
It's wonderful to look back and see how unimportant it's all become - yay!
I identify Sarah!! And hearing and matching your yay!
As always, Satya, you inspire me -- and I thank you for that. I'm also inspired by many of the comments here. I've never been on Instagram or Twitter/X, only FB. I am impressed by your bold move of getting off FB. It eats up so much of my evenings, when I'm mentally soft and not good for much else. But I'd like to spend that time meditating instead of mindlessly scrolling through junk. Or reading an actual book. Speaking of which ... I am currently shopping a book manuscript to agents and publishers. And it's disheartening how many of them (ALL of them) want to know what my Twitter "handle" is, etc. And the many who insist that an "author platform" (i.e. social media presence) is mandatory for publishing success. Ugh. I've had more than one agent say they won't even consider representing an author unless the author has a minimum of 10K followers on social media. Uhhhh .... I have 300 people subscribing to my Substack. Sorry I don't measure up to these insane measures of "success."
I hate that 'existing social media' expectation of authors these days. What about GOOD WRITING??!!!! Good luck with it - you are a massive success in my eyes x
So sweet of you, Satya; thank you. If I can't get the elitist publishing industry to pay me any attention, I'll just self-publish. And by the way, I'm sooo glad you are not exiting this platform. It would be heartbreaking to lose touch totally with your goodness and your inspiration! 🙏🏽
I've been contemplating this for a while. I haven't come to any conclusions yet, but I think I've naturally been moving away from social media for a while. I doubt I'll ever fully let it go, as there are things I really love about it, but I'm getting to a point where I am realizing that I just want to make more room for other things.
I think those natural fallings away can be more sustainable...
2020 was the straw that broke the camel's back for me, as I posted things I didn't think were inflammatory or controversial, but they were perceived that way.
I have retreated to private groups only, so I seem to have found a middle ground that works well for me, where I can still feel safe. Good for you for getting away from those toxic waste dumps, Satya!
Sorry to hear about your experience, sounds like it was painful. Hurray for a safe middle ground!!
It was, and I really understand a lot about where you're coming from here!
I still use it to flag my posts here. There are a few I follow on Instagram, mostly writers or vegans or family. Facebook for a couple of local groups. I'm down to a few minutes a day on each.
I just need to be careful with notes!
Yes, I used to enjoy sharing my SS posts on FB and sometimes got extra readers... and I miss the vegan groups too! And Notes... me too!!! We can keep an eye on each other ;)
Let's do that!
Thank you for writing this.
I’ve only ever been on FB. Years ago I had a business page there as well as a personal one, but one day I realized that I simply did not want to “have to” post there regularly. More broadly, I did not want to use it to “promote” what I do. So I deleted it. I’ve had a website for 20+ years and a blog for almost that long, and I felt like that’s where I wanted to channel my time and energy. My thinking has always been that I’m going to cross paths with certain people in this life — they’re going to find me as a teacher — and that is absolutely not dependent on how well I advertise myself. And it’s been true. I have way more website visits than I ever had FB hits.
I deactivated my personal FB 6 months ago and don’t miss it. Only two “friends” noticed and emailed to ask what was going on. I’m good with that.
No one ever notices when I leave social media, either. I will say, people do notice when I stop writing newsletters or back in the day, when I stopped writing on my blog. They missed it. So there's that two cents.
I love the way you frame this, as trusting the universe to take care of us. Yes, exactly. I think in a strange way, doing spells is taking the place of social media for me. I'm sending energy out into the universe in a much less destructive way. And I don't get the immediate gratification of a bunch of likes, but that's okay.
Thanks so much for the shout-out, too!
Oooh spells, sounds exciting. Maybe I've missed some of your writing about this?
Probably not. I haven't written about it a whole lot. Still sort of working my way through it. But I talk about it some here: https://robynryle.substack.com/p/i-attempt-to-do-magic
This is really something I’m struggling with. Others around me are too. I’ve heard so many people say within the lost month or so that they need to quit instagram - we’re collectively feeling a shift. I hope we listen to ourselves. Thank you!
Good luck with the ongoing struggle : )
I will be rereading this. Thank you for the lived wisdom xxxxx
I think I'm happy enough with my current relationship with social media - which is to say, I deactivated my Instagram account last week, and intend to delete it after the waiting period, leaving me with just Facebook. I only have around 120 Facebook friends, quite a few of whom are childhood friends with whom Facebook is my only form of contact. For that reason alone, I will probably keep it, but I rarely post on there these days, and feel bored within seconds of logging in and scrolling... As I did on Instagram, which I used (to dwindling effect) for my blog/photography. Although: I have noticed that I have lost the urge to take photos since abandoning Instagram, and that feels sad. Was I - despite the tiny number of likes I would get - mostly taking photos in an attempt to get noticed? Surely if I were doing it purely for pleasure,sharing them on Instagram would be immaterial... Wouldn't it? (Rhetorical question!) Hmm. As for promoting my blog, social media feels like a waste of effort.... and I am increasingly feeling that overwhelming insignificance on Substack, too, but - I haven't posted any writing for nearly two months, so, I can't grumble ;) xx
Sounds like a good relationship to me : ) I had nearly 5K 'friends', a very different thing. I wonder if you could share your photos with a few friends instead? I think i'ts human to want our art to be seen/read etc... and sorry to hear about your falling out of love with Substack - I for one am waiting hopefully for your next piece.... 😊
I agree, a lot of us make art for the joy it will bring others as well as ourselves. Instagram can be great for seeing the beauty of other places and the outdoors if you are unable to access them for yourself. Supernova is quite new and seems to be very much like old instagram, just about beautiful images. I also line the wilding app, which encourage tryouts to connect with nature through challenges and uploading photos and videos.
A great article. I have been thinking a lot about social media use, and to be honest use of my phone in general across all apps, internet etc. I often feel I don’t have enough time for creative endeavours, reading, cooking and gardening yet regularly spend 4-5 hours a day using my phone. Granted some of that is listening to podcasts etc but it’s an awful lot of time not necessary well spent.
Yes, I hear you!! Phones are so clever at pulling us in and keeping us there... and it's hard to sift the good from the not-so-good...
I noticed only because you said so, but the fact is that I see you here which feels more of an intimate connection than you rolling by on FB. I've tweaked and honed my social media use over many years; yes, there's wonderful good - my entire spiritual / Buddhist journey has taken place online and I bow deeply to that. And there's the obvious bad, but more damaging is the not so obvious bad. A year or so ago I noticed that my creative practice was less spontaneous, more confused, less productive - it took me a while to understand that I was constantly comparing myself with other artists (unfavourably), and taking endless art courses. Instead of allowing all of that to gently inform my own art, I put myself under pressure to 'perform', often rejecting and even destroying work because it wasn't 'good enough' to post on Instagram. Ugh! I'm still working with this, engaging much less, trying to recover my pre-Insta spontaneity. I'd hate to lose touch with you and that's extra motivation to find ways, like commenting here, to make sure that doesn't happen. Bows!
I am very happy to be connected to you in other ways Frankie! And, yours was one of the names I was always happy to see in my FB feed. Great insight around your art - compare compare despair... glad you're finding a way back to freedom!
Same here Satya, and I think that's what it comes down to in the end, we realise who we value and then find a way to stay in touch. Have a good evening :)
Thanks - a good piece.
As you ask, I was a FB addict, properly hooked, using it as my main communication, my main creative outlet, my main contact and stimulus. And did cold turkey, ( the only way for me), just before lockdown. In spite of that inauspicious timing, I have never for one moment missed it.
Though of course, being a human, and that type of human, I am constantly finding other ways to feed my particular cravings. Long live humanness, in all its brokenness, with all its flaws!
Xx
Hurray for you managing cold turkey Janey - sometimes as you say the only way forwards - and great to hear that you've not missed it. And, as you say, the sneaky parts that keep looking for new places to do their thing... as you say, let's love those bits too!
Tell me: How is your current relationship with social media feeling? What do you like?(Let’s celebrate the good stuff.) What don’t you like so much? What tweaks might help you to find more balance? Which of your needs is it meeting? What other ways might you meet the needs that social media meets (or attempts to meet)?
Great food for thought Satya. I don’t have sound notifications on any social media ( not true, it is on Messenger for some reason), as I don’t want to be tempted (forced?) to look at my phone the minute something comes in.
But I was horrified to be told by my phone that I’d been on it for an average of 3 1/2 hours a day last week 🙀 Much is discussions with friends; I don’t have twitter/X as it’s too antagonistic (& I don’t really understand how it works!).
But Facebook! Oh Facebook! I’ve signed up to too many groups to follow (Peeling Paint Society anybody?) and those Reels! Cute babies! Adorable cats! Maybe there’s an Excessive Use of Exclamation Marks one?!
Like my belly, I need to do a slimming down exercise, before I’m totally dumbed down.
But it is the way, the only way, that I communicate with some people, especially family, with whom I was never particularly close (my immediate family of parents & brother were a tight, almost sealed unit. Which was nice, until both parents died too early, albeit 20 years apart).
So I won’t give up Facebook totally, or my lesser use of Insta (that’s what young people call it apparently) where my young, but distantly located god daughter & 30yr old letter- writing friend post updates of their global travels & endeavours.
But I will slim down who (whom?) I follow on Facebook. Let’s hope it’s more successful than attempts on my belly 🤣
Food is a good parallel isn't it as we need food, and some treats are a good thing (in my mind anyway) but there's a limit... good luck in finding your way forwards, keeping the good bits and losing at least a little of the 'extra social media weight'!!