I am an introvert and highly sensitive person, discovering these personality descriptors have given me permission to be kinder to myself, to give myself more margin in my days and weeks. I still get overwhelmed, saturated by stimulation and shut down to cope. I love how you extended compassion to yourself on the floor and held your expectations a little looser. Both the celebration and cake, look and sound divine!
I am definitely still learning to be gentle with the parts of myself that struggle with stress and are more reactive. I feel a lot of shame when I know I've reacted in a way that hurts someone else.
Hurray for gentleness, and sending gentleness too to the parts that protect you by doing something that hurts others, & the understandable shame. It's not just you x
A lovely blog which made me laugh, very important. I find it important to pause between activities, that gives me breathing space and helps me to restore my energy so that one thing doesn't run into another and then build up into overwhelm. I don't know whether that is helpful.
Satya You sum up the complexity of human behavior and emotions residing within each of us in endless combinations - so well.
As an ACA (adult child of an alcoholic) I had to grow up too fast accepting responsibility no child should deal with, in order to keep my younger brother and me safe. Now as a caregiver I am once again trying to keep my husband fully cared for and somehow avoid meltdowns. I’ve allowed myself some private meltdown’s and small breaks but lately my way of coping is to go into auto-pilot and and numb myself down and fulfill my responsibilities by rote. I worry this isn’t the way Buddha intended us to serve others - but numbing myself seems to be the only way I can do it and not fall apart or act out over frustration. Sorry for the sad reflection . . . . I think we were talking about cake.
I think the Buddha wanted us to do whatever was necessary - sometimes this is numbing ourselves a little - we are limited beings and we (you) are doing our best. Sending love to the parts that have so much to hold and cope with, and maybe they can get some cake too x
Thank you Satya. Our teachings remind us to be fully present. I know distancing oneself is a way the mind protects itself from chaos, pain and helplessness. What bothered me was I thought I had reached some level of acceptance. But when we received some minor good news from a recent scan I still felt distanced from it all. I guess the protection goes up quickly and comes down slowly.
I love the image of you presenting the second cake with the slice missing. I could "see" Angie in the empty space and imagine in that emptiness that she was there with you. The spaces outside, inside, and all around, are for me places for connection and awareness.
My mother died a few weeks ago and I'm simultaneously not coping and being unreasonable. My relationship with her was fraught (for lack of a better word), so add a helping of guilt for not grieving properly.
I want to push people away and hold them close. I don’t want any help. I desperately need help. I'm numb. Television commercials are making me cry. I feel sick. I feel fine.
Sorry to hear about your mum Amy. And yes, that all makes complete sense. You ARE an everything cake and you are delicious just as you are. Go gently 💚
From one junior mediator to another, much of this resonates with me, Satya. I love that you have equated the serving of the second cake with one slice missing to rejecting those perfectionist, smoothing-over tendencies that so many of us struggle with.
And I totally get what you said about the impact of unmet expectations (unvoiced expectations, often!) on the self and the need to take time to reflect on why it triggered something.
I am an introvert and highly sensitive person, discovering these personality descriptors have given me permission to be kinder to myself, to give myself more margin in my days and weeks. I still get overwhelmed, saturated by stimulation and shut down to cope. I love how you extended compassion to yourself on the floor and held your expectations a little looser. Both the celebration and cake, look and sound divine!
Yes, I can also identify with those two descriptors - and that that makes us different, not better/worse. Sending you a virtual slice : )
I am definitely still learning to be gentle with the parts of myself that struggle with stress and are more reactive. I feel a lot of shame when I know I've reacted in a way that hurts someone else.
Hurray for gentleness, and sending gentleness too to the parts that protect you by doing something that hurts others, & the understandable shame. It's not just you x
A lovely blog which made me laugh, very important. I find it important to pause between activities, that gives me breathing space and helps me to restore my energy so that one thing doesn't run into another and then build up into overwhelm. I don't know whether that is helpful.
Happy that it made you laugh Daphne, and excellent advice!
It is helpful. Thank you. Love and light to you ❤️🙏
Satya You sum up the complexity of human behavior and emotions residing within each of us in endless combinations - so well.
As an ACA (adult child of an alcoholic) I had to grow up too fast accepting responsibility no child should deal with, in order to keep my younger brother and me safe. Now as a caregiver I am once again trying to keep my husband fully cared for and somehow avoid meltdowns. I’ve allowed myself some private meltdown’s and small breaks but lately my way of coping is to go into auto-pilot and and numb myself down and fulfill my responsibilities by rote. I worry this isn’t the way Buddha intended us to serve others - but numbing myself seems to be the only way I can do it and not fall apart or act out over frustration. Sorry for the sad reflection . . . . I think we were talking about cake.
Love and light Kim ❤️🙏 Sent from my iPhone
I think the Buddha wanted us to do whatever was necessary - sometimes this is numbing ourselves a little - we are limited beings and we (you) are doing our best. Sending love to the parts that have so much to hold and cope with, and maybe they can get some cake too x
Thank you Satya. Our teachings remind us to be fully present. I know distancing oneself is a way the mind protects itself from chaos, pain and helplessness. What bothered me was I thought I had reached some level of acceptance. But when we received some minor good news from a recent scan I still felt distanced from it all. I guess the protection goes up quickly and comes down slowly.
Love and light to you Kim ❤️🙏
For me the essence of this post is the following.
I am kinder to the parts of me
That is evidence of progress and maturity.
I am reminded of the slogan - Progress, not perfection.
Yes absolutely - and progress not perfection is the perfect going gently slogan!
I love the image of you presenting the second cake with the slice missing. I could "see" Angie in the empty space and imagine in that emptiness that she was there with you. The spaces outside, inside, and all around, are for me places for connection and awareness.
Yes, I love this!
Congratulations Satya, and to Kaspa too! A lovely photo and memory too of your special ordination ceremony. x
Thanks Edith!
My mother died a few weeks ago and I'm simultaneously not coping and being unreasonable. My relationship with her was fraught (for lack of a better word), so add a helping of guilt for not grieving properly.
I want to push people away and hold them close. I don’t want any help. I desperately need help. I'm numb. Television commercials are making me cry. I feel sick. I feel fine.
I'm an Everything cake!
Sorry to hear about your mum Amy. And yes, that all makes complete sense. You ARE an everything cake and you are delicious just as you are. Go gently 💚
From one junior mediator to another, much of this resonates with me, Satya. I love that you have equated the serving of the second cake with one slice missing to rejecting those perfectionist, smoothing-over tendencies that so many of us struggle with.
And I totally get what you said about the impact of unmet expectations (unvoiced expectations, often!) on the self and the need to take time to reflect on why it triggered something.
Thanks for hearing me & I hear you & your parts too! x
Love that image of the missing slice 🤍 and I also love alllll the parts of you! Thanks for sharing so beautifully and vulnerably x
Aw thank you lovely. Wish YOU could have had a slice!!!
Meee tooo!
Satya: “Let them eat cake.”
Marie Antoinette: “Who?”
Satya: “Everyone!”
Glad the day went over smoothly in the end. Beautifully written piece. My only regret is I can’t have a slice myself!
😂
I very much wish I could give you a slice too. If you're ever in the UK, let me know!!
(& thank you)
Made me cry x
Always a good sign 😊 xxxxxxxxxx