The Going Gently Guide to Success

How to get 1000 subscribers (or anything else you want)

I want you to see this before you read anything else. I really believe it. (photo by Felicia Buitenwerf)

I had been on the edge of my seat for days.

My Substack figures were inching towards the kind of perfect alignment that only happens once in a lifetime. I had 997 free subscribers, and 99 paid. Would I be blessed by the gift of five zeroes?

Look, I’m up to 100 paid! Oh, but now someone else has paid - argh, up to 101. Ooh, someone else has stopped paying - back to 100! Another day of anticipating, and another. Finally, up to 999 free subscribers. So close… Ack - someone unsubscribed - 998. Woohoo, 999 again! NO!!! 998!!!! When will this be over???

And then the stars aligned… ⭐

As I said on Notes, My. Life. Is. Now. Complete.

These figures represent six months of hard work here, and a lifetime of writing (and living) practice. They represent a moment of success, frozen and wondered at, like a butterfly opening their bright wings to the sun.

People wanted to know, how did I do it? How could they do it too? As most of my lovely readers don’t write Substacks I am going to attempt to keep everyone happy (an unfortunate habit of mine) by illustrating my Going Gently Guide to Success with my Substack figures. Because everyone wants to be successful, right?

(Disclaimer: this may not be quite what you expect.)

1. Listen. We are all driven by many different motivations, hopes and compulsions. Before deciding what success looks like for you, try and listen to as many of these internal voices¹ as you can. What are they all hoping for? What do they think ‘success’ might solve for you? How do they hope it will make you feel? What do your loved ones or the Universe think might make you happier? What if it were true that you already had some of these things in your life right now?
   ✍🏻 I was glad to be asked the question ‘what does success look like to you?’ by

   Writers at Work with Sarah Fay
   . How many subscribers do you want in the long term? Do you want to focus on being paid to write, or would you rather have a big free readership? How many subscribers are you aiming for, with the understanding that having a lot will mean you need to put in more work? Why is all this important to you in the first place?

2. Follow Your Bliss. I was always intrigued by this short phrase by Joseph Campbell and I find that, as I stack up more years (nearly fifty! how did that happen?) the more I appreciate its wisdom. I believe that the world wants us to do what makes us happy. Of course this is much harder for some of us than others. We live under unjust systems and many folk are constrained in all sorts of terrible and unfair ways. Also, life is bloody difficult sometimes. And, I still think it is possible to gently orient ourselves towards our own happiness in teensy ways. I also trust that this helps us to become kinder people, which means we’ll naturally give more to others and to the world in the long run.

   ✍🏻 Writing Going Gently doesn’t always bring me a fireworky or buzzy-exciting kind of bliss (I’m not sure that anything worth doing does). It does, however, stir something important into my life that brings me fresh insights, satisfaction and a sweet and gentle happiness, like soft rain.

3. Enjoy The Ride. There are two reasons for this. The first is that there is a lot more journey than destination. If I’d had a miserable time writing my six month’s-worth of Substacks, it would be impossible to compensate for that with moments of success, however sparkling they were. The second is that there is never any guarantee that we will receive success (or at least our definition of success) and so we may as well enjoy the train journey just in case it rains when we get to the beach.
   ✍🏻 As I said above, writing makes me happy. As Raymond Carver would say, the rest is gravy.

4. Ask For Help. Two reasons. We can’t do everything on our own, ever. And, it makes people happy when they can help (see below).

   ✍🏻 I asked Sarah Fay for help, which involved saving up for a 1:1, but not all help costs money. I have learnt oodles from other amazing writers here, by finding those who make my heart sing and watching what they do. I have asked my friends to read drafts or give me opinions on strategy. I have asked my lovely readers for feedback through a poll. PS I still find asking for things really hard, and I am still working on it.

5. Make Offerings. I have been everso slowly learning that giving things away makes me happier than receiving them. Parts of me hate this, because they are very attached to the idea that receiving stuff is the best. It is true that I still prefer to eat all the brownies myself after baking them, or maybe I could spare one or two... Nevertheless, evidence is accumulating. It even made me happy to give my friend Laura doughnuts last week - the Really Amazing Vegan Ones!²
   ✍🏻 There’s no doubt that I keep turning up here to write because I hope that it will be helpful to someone. I’ve received so much good stuff over the years from so many different places (great teachers, therapy, 12 steps, spiritual pearls) and I love the idea of passing it on.

6. Stay Curious. Why are you doing this-really-difficult-thing again? What are you hoping to receive? Is it working for you? Do you need to tweak anything? Is it worth it? Might you receive what you’re hoping to receive from somewhere else instead? Maybe you’ve already got it!
   ✍🏻 I have already made a million changes to the offering I make here, and am likely to make a million more. This is because, as Buddhists know, all is impermanent… we do what works for as long as it works, and then something changes, and so we try something different. I have also learnt a great deal as I’ve gone along - trying long-form interviews that just didn’t work for me, or getting more disciplined about not sending out extra messages in a week. (Well, except this one 🙄)

7. Don’t Compare, Compare, Despair.

   ✍🏻 (shhh - I still do this quite a lot. It’s okay - I’m a human being.)

8. Count Your Blessings. When we’re ultra-focussed on something we can forget to notice the abundance that is all around us. When we look with the right eyes, blessings are everywhere. As I type, I can hear the kettle singing in the kitchen. I am warm and dry as the rain patters down outside. My dog Aiko is curled cutely in the bed next to my desk. I’ll reach down and stroke her for a little while before starting the next sentence.

   ✍🏻 Subscription figures are one way of celebrating success with our Substacks, but I also see it as a small miracle every time someone agrees to make space for my writing in their inbox, or leaves a comment to say that something helped, or (isn’t it amazing!) gives me money so I can put proper time aside to write.

9. Be You. They only made one beautiful you. No-one else can do it - the world needs you to do you!

I will probably need to remind myself of all these points when I’m on the cusp of my next ‘success moment’, whether that’s here at Substack, or in my financial life, or in my work as a Buddhist minister.

I will also need to remind myself that, although it was very lovely to see all those zeroes in a row and to receive all those congratulations, the blissful feelings faded pretty fast as I moved on to the Next Thing.

We can’t live in success. It’s actually mostly a mirage. Or maybe it’s more like manna. We can catch it on our tongues and relish the taste - mmmm, honey-sweet! - but we can’t store it up or force it to fall from the sky.

We can keep heading towards my friend Terry’s motto - ‘no blame, be kind, love everything’. We can trust that the glorious rest will take care of itself.

Thank you for being here with me. *warm squishy grateful feeling*

Go gently,
Satya <3

PS don’t forget where we started - you are already enough.

1. When I talk about internal voices I’m using Internal Family Systems, the way of seeing the world that changed my life. An intro with puppies is here.

2. Yes it is true that I have a thing about baked goods.