This is such a tender post Satya. And one I needed to read today.
After my 11 days of hospital limbo, many tests and hoops to jump thru and finally an embolization (scary procedure) of my most current venous fistula, I returned home.
It’s so good to be home, and so challenging to not have improved at all yet.
The newest words from my MD are “wait two weeks, and if you’re not better, we’ll have you return for more (invasive) tests, and surgery”. The surgery carries the risk of chronic pain down my arm, but I might have the relief of being upright again.
I’m calling in Great Love to do what I cannot do, surrender and wait, while walking the path of perpetual unknown,
Oh Teyani that sounds so tough. I hate not knowing. Wishing you as much peace as possible as you inhabit this in between space - sending love to your body, which I'm sure is trying it's best to heal, and hope you can find some small nice things and offer yourself as many of those as possible. Sending metta.
This line hit me hard: "It turns out (shock horror) that I’m a teensy bit of a control freak." Isn't it funny how life has a way of revealing our hidden control tendencies, especially when we're chasing after something we desperately want? It's like the universe's gentle (or not-so-gentle) nudge to remind us that we're not the puppet masters we think we are.
I've been very greatfull for the meditation on Indras net, when I find myself trapped in the need to have control (or the opposite; feeling I can't change anything ... it's just a shift of perspective).
one visualizes a net that extends infinitely in all directions beyond space. In each corner of the web's joints is a jewel. The reflections, the colors, the light in each jewel are constantly changing. Each and every jewel is reflected in all the other jewels. One can follow the changes in the reflections of one jewel in the surrounding ones and the reflection of the surrounding jewels in the one. then you can try to follow the jewel's reflections as far into all the others as you can and then the other way - the influence of the other jewels on the one jewel. This way you can go back and forth and dwell a little on what you need. So ... You don't have control over everything or can figure everything out (if I do this, then this happens) but also you have an impact on everything else (even if you can't get the full overview) and it's not always so straightforward to see what comes from what (what is from one jewel and what comes to one jewel from all the others). I hope that makes sense, even if I have trouble finding the english words.
Very powerful Satya… I had a different but similar situation arise over the last few days. A place I wanted to move to.. but my current landlords would not let me out of a verbal lease agreement.
I too watched my self begin to grasp and then somehow, must have been Divine intervention, I found myself smiling and making peace with what I have no control over.
So, I’ll begin some deep declutterring in preparation for when Existence invites me to move on.
Grateful for your humanness, your sharing, your insight and understanding. Going gently is really the best way to be now or moving in a new direction.
Ah sorry to hear about the opportunity Margaret but good to trust that something equally as good is on the way... Tosha Silver is a big advocate of decluttering and cleaning, I've found it really helpful as a part of my moving process - getting rid of old emails, things I'll never wear etc. I hope you enjoy it and let us know when something comes along! Good to have you here - blessings received & back at ya.
Just in case, if it’s a land registry issue you can use their expedited service which guarantees (as much as is possible) a 2 week turnaround once documents are received. We used it for here, and once the sellers solicitors did their thing (which took them ages - they had no idea of speed) it was indeed 2 weeks on what could have been an up to 6 months process.
Thank you. I should have added to the post that the new issue was having our pre- changed names on the deed. Our solicitor discovered a way to do it instantly, and so the panic was over within a few hours! Glad things worked out as quickly as possible for you!
This is such a tender post Satya. And one I needed to read today.
After my 11 days of hospital limbo, many tests and hoops to jump thru and finally an embolization (scary procedure) of my most current venous fistula, I returned home.
It’s so good to be home, and so challenging to not have improved at all yet.
The newest words from my MD are “wait two weeks, and if you’re not better, we’ll have you return for more (invasive) tests, and surgery”. The surgery carries the risk of chronic pain down my arm, but I might have the relief of being upright again.
I’m calling in Great Love to do what I cannot do, surrender and wait, while walking the path of perpetual unknown,
Thank you
Oh Teyani that sounds so tough. I hate not knowing. Wishing you as much peace as possible as you inhabit this in between space - sending love to your body, which I'm sure is trying it's best to heal, and hope you can find some small nice things and offer yourself as many of those as possible. Sending metta.
Thank you Satya. I’m so grateful for the metta. I send it back to you as well.
Received 😊
This line hit me hard: "It turns out (shock horror) that I’m a teensy bit of a control freak." Isn't it funny how life has a way of revealing our hidden control tendencies, especially when we're chasing after something we desperately want? It's like the universe's gentle (or not-so-gentle) nudge to remind us that we're not the puppet masters we think we are.
I write this as a control freak. Haha.
It takes one to know one ; ) (I love those parts of me, and they can also cause a lot of trouble!!)
I certainly needed to hear this! 💖
I've been very greatfull for the meditation on Indras net, when I find myself trapped in the need to have control (or the opposite; feeling I can't change anything ... it's just a shift of perspective).
Is that a particular meditation Jen? If you want to share I'm sure people will be interested. Glad you've found something to help you make that shift!
one visualizes a net that extends infinitely in all directions beyond space. In each corner of the web's joints is a jewel. The reflections, the colors, the light in each jewel are constantly changing. Each and every jewel is reflected in all the other jewels. One can follow the changes in the reflections of one jewel in the surrounding ones and the reflection of the surrounding jewels in the one. then you can try to follow the jewel's reflections as far into all the others as you can and then the other way - the influence of the other jewels on the one jewel. This way you can go back and forth and dwell a little on what you need. So ... You don't have control over everything or can figure everything out (if I do this, then this happens) but also you have an impact on everything else (even if you can't get the full overview) and it's not always so straightforward to see what comes from what (what is from one jewel and what comes to one jewel from all the others). I hope that makes sense, even if I have trouble finding the english words.
Very powerful Satya… I had a different but similar situation arise over the last few days. A place I wanted to move to.. but my current landlords would not let me out of a verbal lease agreement.
I too watched my self begin to grasp and then somehow, must have been Divine intervention, I found myself smiling and making peace with what I have no control over.
So, I’ll begin some deep declutterring in preparation for when Existence invites me to move on.
Grateful for your humanness, your sharing, your insight and understanding. Going gently is really the best way to be now or moving in a new direction.
Blessings… 🙏🏽💕
Ah sorry to hear about the opportunity Margaret but good to trust that something equally as good is on the way... Tosha Silver is a big advocate of decluttering and cleaning, I've found it really helpful as a part of my moving process - getting rid of old emails, things I'll never wear etc. I hope you enjoy it and let us know when something comes along! Good to have you here - blessings received & back at ya.
Thank you!
I’m looking to her book…
Just in case, if it’s a land registry issue you can use their expedited service which guarantees (as much as is possible) a 2 week turnaround once documents are received. We used it for here, and once the sellers solicitors did their thing (which took them ages - they had no idea of speed) it was indeed 2 weeks on what could have been an up to 6 months process.
Thank you. I should have added to the post that the new issue was having our pre- changed names on the deed. Our solicitor discovered a way to do it instantly, and so the panic was over within a few hours! Glad things worked out as quickly as possible for you!