Satya, It's such a beautiful thing to have a refuge above and beyond all the temporary facets of this worldly life. I'm so sorry this year has been challenging for you, and I feel encouraged that you have found a sense of refuge amidst the pain and chaos. Thank you for writing about refuge so eloquently.
Satya, you wrote, 'Just maybe, when horrible things happen to us, we are being offered an opportunity to heal parts of us that need healing - parts we wouldn’t get access to in any other way.' This makes me wonder, what if the pain we experience is not a punishment, but a pathway to our deepest selves?
I am no longer surprised by unexpected connections with people I would not have expected to speak to my heart so clearly, Satya! I find true joy in doing just that. I, too, am a Friend of Bill W, co-founder of Alcoholics Anonymous. I drank from 18 to 48, the last 10 wishing to die in my sleep. Attending AA for nearly 27 years set me on a new life course, forsaking all mind altering substances, except coffee.
Wishing to know our next steps, wishing to be in control of what and when comes next, feels hardwired many days. Being in this moment can produce an itchy sensation. “We pause when agitated or doubtful and ask for the right thought or action.” A Big Book suggestion. “We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, seeking only knowledge of his will for us and the power to carry it out.”
Two of Pema Chödrön’s books, When Things Fall Apart and Comfortable With Uncertainty, provided a rudimentary exposure to Buddhist principles and terminology. And a different way of viewing the world. I navigate my life today using Great Spirit as a point of reference.
How did I happen to read your post today, Satya? How did I come to know of your writing? I believe that’s partly a result of hanging around Substack for some time. Some I believe is providential. It’s all good!
Ah, what a lovely comment Gary - so good to meet you. I love the description of itchiness. And what a miracle your life has been! Who knows what the divine has a hand in - I just know that, when I lean into it, it happens more and more... bowing and feeling grateful for your presence here.
I return your bow. I always benefit from having my compass tweaked! And the lens cleaned to help me see I’m not holding a steady course or headed for the shallows. Along the lines of “Mark Twain” in Samuel Clemons’ book Huckleberry Finn. To meet others and form spiritual connections on Substack is a dynamic I never would have expected. I recognize good writing, poetry and prose. Photographers share captivating examples of their work. I could go on, and already have, Satya.
All the very best with purchasing your home. (I hope that is the path to help you put down new roots - like the white hydrangeas.)
Satya I send my warmest wishes to you. Anyone whose been through this knows how challenging it is to relax into the waiting. There is an additional view I sometimes draw on when things require me to wait. During a trip with a friend we drove down a mountain road in thick fog. We had to slow to a crawl. My friend had an appointment she’d been waiting months to get and it was evident she was going to miss it. I was fretting on her behalf. She turned to me with a smile and said “don’t concern yourself. Sometimes when we are delayed we are being protected from something.” When we arrived at the bottom of the hill - right where we would have entered the freeway there was a terrible accident. I’m not saying this is always the case but I remember it when I am anxious about why something is taking so long. Sometimes something better awaits, sometimes something that benefits us is getting resolved and sometimes it’s just plain old red tape. I wish you only the best in full filling your dream. You are in loving hands and wished only the best result. Much love 🙏🪷❤️
Thank you Kim. What a beautiful story. Tosha Silver says that all delays are 'perfect' - even if we don't understand the reasons at the time. I don't know whether it's true or not but it certainly helps me to think it MIGHT be true, and withhold judgement... thank you for your good wishes, happily received!
Oh my, I know of what you speak Satya....in real time. I am forever grateful for your willingness to share with such vulnerability. It's all so much isn't it? Perhaps sharing where you're at opens the field for others and releases some of the pressure. I read this quote yesterday from Cheryl Strayed, "Acceptance is a small quiet room." Bearing witness. xox
Ah sorry to hear you're in it too Mary! What a beautiful quote. I feel witnessed and offering the same back to you - maybe we can sit together in that little room for a little while! x
Thank you for these words, I hear you and yet I find a part of me rearing back as you talk about leaning in and resting in an other. I'm still looking. X
Ah, excellently observed Sarah. I hope you can offer some attention to the rearing-back part and reassure it that you're not going to do anything it's uncomfortable with - it will have excellent reasons for its caution. Sending love to that part, and to the ones who maybe want to lean in a little bit more! x
Yes. I know this truth in the most painful way. There’s the time before Jan 13, 2019 when life as I knew it was about to be blown apart, and ever since. My word is God (and Jesus) - God didn’t put me there, or “have a plan” for me, with that trauma. But God helped me get through it. “Give me this day my daily bread.”
I'm sorry to hear about your experience Jessica. Yes - I hear that. I don't particularly believe that the divine wants us to suffer great trauma. I don't think God is in control of EVERYTHING. I know some people do - whatever works for you! - but I too like to think of God being there all along, holding our hand, and knowing our suffering. Thank you for sharing.
I don’t believe that, either, which is why I said that God didn’t put me in the trauma or have a plan. My belief, though, is that the Divine is present with me, suffers with me, and will never leave me.
I am right here with you in my heart and daily life experiences… thank you for this sweet, honest and layer peeling away story.
As a serious Dharma student, practitioner and teacher for more than 50 years I can certainly relate to what you are transitioning through…
I have been blessed with several periods of intense life threatening levels of suffering during which I learned the power of prayer for in each situation the only way through it was by attaining the presence of God or as I say…my inner Beloved. This led to learning to hear the divine inner guidance which is flowing to everyone of us all the time…and training myself to follow it… and finding the training and meaning of those experiences…
And this growing connection with the Divine coupled with all the profound dharma practices and teachings I have been blessed to receive has made my life an open road of peace, bliss, higher consciousness and complete confidence that the Divine is actively leading and blessing me more and more!
I am delighted to read your story and meet you! Kindred spirits we are…i write about all of this in my daily newsletter…”The Dawning Light”…You are definitely on the right track…and the best is yet ahead!
Good to meet you Chinmayan and good to hear about your experience of connection with the Divine ('inner Beloved' is perfect). It's a shame that sometimes we're only thrown into faith by difficulty - I guess that's how we humans are! - but I'm so grateful for all the teachings we have... Have a lovely day.
“When life gets rough or overwhelmingly painful or we are facing our own demise nothing in this world is even a hair tip’s help except for the Dharma. During hard times is when we discover the true value of our own Dharma practice!”
Satya, It's such a beautiful thing to have a refuge above and beyond all the temporary facets of this worldly life. I'm so sorry this year has been challenging for you, and I feel encouraged that you have found a sense of refuge amidst the pain and chaos. Thank you for writing about refuge so eloquently.
Satya, you wrote, 'Just maybe, when horrible things happen to us, we are being offered an opportunity to heal parts of us that need healing - parts we wouldn’t get access to in any other way.' This makes me wonder, what if the pain we experience is not a punishment, but a pathway to our deepest selves?
I am no longer surprised by unexpected connections with people I would not have expected to speak to my heart so clearly, Satya! I find true joy in doing just that. I, too, am a Friend of Bill W, co-founder of Alcoholics Anonymous. I drank from 18 to 48, the last 10 wishing to die in my sleep. Attending AA for nearly 27 years set me on a new life course, forsaking all mind altering substances, except coffee.
Wishing to know our next steps, wishing to be in control of what and when comes next, feels hardwired many days. Being in this moment can produce an itchy sensation. “We pause when agitated or doubtful and ask for the right thought or action.” A Big Book suggestion. “We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, seeking only knowledge of his will for us and the power to carry it out.”
Two of Pema Chödrön’s books, When Things Fall Apart and Comfortable With Uncertainty, provided a rudimentary exposure to Buddhist principles and terminology. And a different way of viewing the world. I navigate my life today using Great Spirit as a point of reference.
How did I happen to read your post today, Satya? How did I come to know of your writing? I believe that’s partly a result of hanging around Substack for some time. Some I believe is providential. It’s all good!
Ah, what a lovely comment Gary - so good to meet you. I love the description of itchiness. And what a miracle your life has been! Who knows what the divine has a hand in - I just know that, when I lean into it, it happens more and more... bowing and feeling grateful for your presence here.
I return your bow. I always benefit from having my compass tweaked! And the lens cleaned to help me see I’m not holding a steady course or headed for the shallows. Along the lines of “Mark Twain” in Samuel Clemons’ book Huckleberry Finn. To meet others and form spiritual connections on Substack is a dynamic I never would have expected. I recognize good writing, poetry and prose. Photographers share captivating examples of their work. I could go on, and already have, Satya.
All the very best with purchasing your home. (I hope that is the path to help you put down new roots - like the white hydrangeas.)
Satya I send my warmest wishes to you. Anyone whose been through this knows how challenging it is to relax into the waiting. There is an additional view I sometimes draw on when things require me to wait. During a trip with a friend we drove down a mountain road in thick fog. We had to slow to a crawl. My friend had an appointment she’d been waiting months to get and it was evident she was going to miss it. I was fretting on her behalf. She turned to me with a smile and said “don’t concern yourself. Sometimes when we are delayed we are being protected from something.” When we arrived at the bottom of the hill - right where we would have entered the freeway there was a terrible accident. I’m not saying this is always the case but I remember it when I am anxious about why something is taking so long. Sometimes something better awaits, sometimes something that benefits us is getting resolved and sometimes it’s just plain old red tape. I wish you only the best in full filling your dream. You are in loving hands and wished only the best result. Much love 🙏🪷❤️
Thank you Kim. What a beautiful story. Tosha Silver says that all delays are 'perfect' - even if we don't understand the reasons at the time. I don't know whether it's true or not but it certainly helps me to think it MIGHT be true, and withhold judgement... thank you for your good wishes, happily received!
Oh my, I know of what you speak Satya....in real time. I am forever grateful for your willingness to share with such vulnerability. It's all so much isn't it? Perhaps sharing where you're at opens the field for others and releases some of the pressure. I read this quote yesterday from Cheryl Strayed, "Acceptance is a small quiet room." Bearing witness. xox
Ah sorry to hear you're in it too Mary! What a beautiful quote. I feel witnessed and offering the same back to you - maybe we can sit together in that little room for a little while! x
Thank you for these words, I hear you and yet I find a part of me rearing back as you talk about leaning in and resting in an other. I'm still looking. X
Ah, excellently observed Sarah. I hope you can offer some attention to the rearing-back part and reassure it that you're not going to do anything it's uncomfortable with - it will have excellent reasons for its caution. Sending love to that part, and to the ones who maybe want to lean in a little bit more! x
Here with you, lovely friend xx
I feel it xx
Yes. I know this truth in the most painful way. There’s the time before Jan 13, 2019 when life as I knew it was about to be blown apart, and ever since. My word is God (and Jesus) - God didn’t put me there, or “have a plan” for me, with that trauma. But God helped me get through it. “Give me this day my daily bread.”
I'm sorry to hear about your experience Jessica. Yes - I hear that. I don't particularly believe that the divine wants us to suffer great trauma. I don't think God is in control of EVERYTHING. I know some people do - whatever works for you! - but I too like to think of God being there all along, holding our hand, and knowing our suffering. Thank you for sharing.
I don’t believe that, either, which is why I said that God didn’t put me in the trauma or have a plan. My belief, though, is that the Divine is present with me, suffers with me, and will never leave me.
Yes - sounds like we have the same belief. And experience. 🤍
Dear one…
I am right here with you in my heart and daily life experiences… thank you for this sweet, honest and layer peeling away story.
As a serious Dharma student, practitioner and teacher for more than 50 years I can certainly relate to what you are transitioning through…
I have been blessed with several periods of intense life threatening levels of suffering during which I learned the power of prayer for in each situation the only way through it was by attaining the presence of God or as I say…my inner Beloved. This led to learning to hear the divine inner guidance which is flowing to everyone of us all the time…and training myself to follow it… and finding the training and meaning of those experiences…
And this growing connection with the Divine coupled with all the profound dharma practices and teachings I have been blessed to receive has made my life an open road of peace, bliss, higher consciousness and complete confidence that the Divine is actively leading and blessing me more and more!
I am delighted to read your story and meet you! Kindred spirits we are…i write about all of this in my daily newsletter…”The Dawning Light”…You are definitely on the right track…and the best is yet ahead!
Good to meet you Chinmayan and good to hear about your experience of connection with the Divine ('inner Beloved' is perfect). It's a shame that sometimes we're only thrown into faith by difficulty - I guess that's how we humans are! - but I'm so grateful for all the teachings we have... Have a lovely day.
As my teacher Kalu Rinpoche often said…
“When life gets rough or overwhelmingly painful or we are facing our own demise nothing in this world is even a hair tip’s help except for the Dharma. During hard times is when we discover the true value of our own Dharma practice!”