Very useful! Love the curiosity piece. I have a super strong judge; probably linked to self protection against things that have historically felt unsafe. It comes up a lot when one of my partners seems to choose courses of action that bring chaos and seem to me to be ill-thought-out. Struggling to find the balance with discernment here. I do find that sometimes boundaries are needed, but I'd like to be able to do that without the taint of judgment that my partner is so sensitive to.
Thanks Morgana. The stronger the judge, the stronger they've needed to be... and what you've described sounds really tricky - sorting out what belongs to who, what's 'reasonable' etc... discernment is so important. And it's not possible to always behave without ANY parts getting involved - but it can help to notice afterwards and apologise - whilst forgiving yourself/acknowledging humanness in both of you... happy exploring!
The judge/critic part in me is very strong. I have just begun (3 sessions, and two were introductory) working with an IFS therapist. Feeling good about it so far. Thanks for bringing the model to my attention!
Very useful! Love the curiosity piece. I have a super strong judge; probably linked to self protection against things that have historically felt unsafe. It comes up a lot when one of my partners seems to choose courses of action that bring chaos and seem to me to be ill-thought-out. Struggling to find the balance with discernment here. I do find that sometimes boundaries are needed, but I'd like to be able to do that without the taint of judgment that my partner is so sensitive to.
Something to explore with my therapist!
Thanks Morgana. The stronger the judge, the stronger they've needed to be... and what you've described sounds really tricky - sorting out what belongs to who, what's 'reasonable' etc... discernment is so important. And it's not possible to always behave without ANY parts getting involved - but it can help to notice afterwards and apologise - whilst forgiving yourself/acknowledging humanness in both of you... happy exploring!
Thank you for these beautiful words, Satya 🌷
The judge/critic part in me is very strong. I have just begun (3 sessions, and two were introductory) working with an IFS therapist. Feeling good about it so far. Thanks for bringing the model to my attention!
Ah wonderful Elaine - and you're not alone in that! I hope you enjoy getting yo know them - sounds like they work VERY hard for you ☺️❤️