At sixty I did Kilimanjaro. Within seven months I had also done Macchu Picchu, Everest Base camp and was well on my way to becoming a serious adventure athlete. At seventy, now almost recovered from some much-needed reconstruction work on hands and feet (I've been lifting for fifty years) I am again planning the next ten years. The way I see it, focus on what you want and work for it. Do the work to be healthy body mind and soul. And for Chrissakes stop obsessing about youth. It's gone, 'kay? It's GONE. All the time we spend obsessing about what we can't have any more is time we will never get back. Fill your life with worthwhile pursuits, friends and love, and for Gawd's sake, let it go. We all owe Nature a body.
When I was in my sixties I decided to develop a positive mindset to help me cope with the changes life was going to be sending my way as I got older. I would recommend to you and anyone else that this be a starting point. I've since written a book about how I aged following the science. Now I'm in my mid-seventies and write a Substack newsletter about it. One aspect of ageing that I love is that it seems to rid you of some inhibition; you become freer and worry less about others think of you.
Thanks for sharing Patricia - sounds like you're doing important work. I'm loving the inhibitions slowly dropping too - some way to go, but I can be inspired by you & others!
Nov 29, 2023·edited Nov 29, 2023Liked by Satya Robyn
Hi Satya.
I'm 59. My hair is about half silver now and my 27-year-old daughter told me last evening that she loves my hair being "salt & pepper" and she's looking forward to her hair being silver, too. Being a good role model for my daughter is important to me. So her casual observation about my hair made me happy. Undeniably, our patriarchal society puts a lot of pressure on women to look younger than their actual age. I say, phooey! Let's enjoy and embrace our natural aging beauty!
What helps me on my aging journey is being grateful to be alive and to be able to grow old. I have many friends and family members who have died too young. Also, for me, having a sense of humor and faith, along with the gratitude, is important. I'm by nature a serious person, so I have to work at the humor part!
I liked what Ashley Jenson had to say in a recent Guardian article: "After six years of Hollywood, I came back to the UK with my face all in the same position – a remarkable feat for any woman in this industry. I was 38 by the time I went to America, and because I was predominantly playing comedy parts there was maybe not as much pressure to be perfect. Yet I still feel so saddened that we are in a society where women, especially, feel they can’t embrace the wisdom of ageing. There isn’t as much collagen in my face as there used to be, and I’ve got laughter lines and a tummy that’s there because I’ve given birth to a child, but at least it all still works! I can walk and talk and see and hear. I’m in the middle of the menopause, and there have been times when I feel as if I am wearing someone else’s costume, like I have completely forgotten who I am, which has been quite disconcerting. But I still believe it’s an honour and a privilege to get old. While my Scottish instinct is to think, “Don’t get too carried away with yourself,” I do feel proud of what I’ve achieved. It may have taken me until my 50s to get into the lead roles, but I wouldn’t have had it any other way."
As far as what I love about aging, I love having more confidence and less cares about what others might think about my path, choices, and looks. I've found that most people really don't care a whole lot about what I'm are doing or what I look like. So, I try to focus on keeping an uplifted attitude about aging and achieving what is important to me and what is important for future generations on Earth. I like this Rumi quote: 'Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.'
By the way, Satya. you look fabulous! Every time I see a photograph of you, you are beautiful. You are gently protesting, adoring your pets and husband, enjoying nature, etc. You are so inspiring! Thank you!
Thanks for sharing Judy - love the Ashley Jensen quote and a gold star ⭐ for saying I look good (hehe) - lovely to hear about your journey and feels so important that we can share these experiences with each other. Here's to more confidence!!
Thank you, Satya. There's something about planning a wedding when you're both nearer retirement age than teen-age, with parents' ages to match, that puts one face-to-face with reality in a very complicated way. Not all bad - how could celebrating life and love be that? - but still quite raw. Nowhere to hide, as it were...
Thank you! I think it can't help but be bittersweet, if you don't/can't ignore the fact that all of it will end: that the obverse of living is being dead. And that's - as they say - OK. (Except, of course, when it isn't OK at all. No saints and no Pollyannas here)
I turned 70 this summer - just seeing it written down makes me laugh - me 70? What? How?! But I'm happy being old; of course I don't want to die, it's the ultimate FOMO isn't it, but I'm trying to get comfy with it by being grateful every single day that I wake up, still here. I'm lucky to be in relatively good health, own hair and teeth, and - big step in acceptance here, I stopped colouring my hair about 10 years ago. It may seem trivial but it was a hugely liberating moment.
I have one serious worry and that's my little dog outliving me, but it's something that will have a practical solution, in the meantime he's a wonderful reason for me to take as good care of myself as possible.
Ageing is freeing in so many ways but we need to meet it with open minds and hearts.
I am mid-60s. I remember thinking similar things as you when I was about your age. Then followed a decade of grief for my never-to-return youth - youth which was hard graft anyway!
I have now reached a remarkably free-ing stage of life I think. Here’s roughly how it is:
(1) gratitude that I am still here (many of my friends - older and younger - are not 🥀), still working, able to choose to work 3 days a week for work-life balance, relatively healthy and certainly happy
(2) I have never really been motivated by how I look, but I care even less now. I have to work harder to keep my body from hurting, but if I do that work, it doesn’t hurt - I literally have to exercise regularly, which has many and varied benefits as I age, but which previously I have been able to ignore
(3) in accepting myself for my weirdo bits, I have discovered that others also accept and enjoy my uniqueness (the joys of adult-diagnosed ADHD), so I am finally able to relax in my own skin - even at work, and my work colleagues are generous in their appreciation of my “outside the box” world 🤣
(4) I am very conscious of the timer on my life ticking, time speeds up as you age, so I try to pack in every single thing I feel happy doing, and try to facilitate that my kids and grandkids know that they can find a way to satisfy their souls sooner rather than later - that every moment counts and that happiness is often a choice.
(5) i never feel guilty or competitive - such a waste of energy!
And now I have googled Ashley Jensen, and realised that I never knew who Agatha Raisin actually was 🤣.
I'm 51 and I'm oddly very happy of where I am despite some health issues like chronic migraine. I finally love my looks and body. I'm finally confident. I know what I want in life and I'm going after it. I have my own dreams after years of wishing for things that society projected on me. I'm learning new things every day. Yes, at times I do get fears around the future. I have no children or family and I do get scared of being alone in my old age. But in my experience, all the things we fear are never as bad as we picture them.
I hope I didn't come out as smug, it's just that as I started writing, I just felt this surge of gratitude for my current life. I used to be so scared of turning older and fifty sounded like the end to me. And it really isn't. We get to do so many lovely things still and I really wish my younger had heard someone say this.
Not at ALL. I think it's so important that we can celebrate the good stuff - and it always makes me happy to hear about people feeling happy with their looks and body. The patriarchy!!! I hope there are younger people hearing you too - and I'll count myself as one of those too.... 😂 (50 next October!)
I'm 66 and retired 2 years ago. So grateful to be alive for this last part of my life. I'm not so much worried about death and dying, more so about the how of it. Especially re: medical issues. I've been relatively healthy most of my life. I don't have much faith in western medicine so I'm diving deeper into herbs for self-care. My biggest worry has been out living my sons. They're grown humans now and each have had their fair share of rough patches with the patches still popping up. My most recent felt sense of getting old is my back molar that after decades is starting to break apart. It's the first time I'm thinking"because of my age", I'm not spending $$$$ on a crown or an implant, simply get it extracted. So, that feeling of decay and the natural course of one's body breaking down and having love and tenderness for this body that's carried me so far! Oh! And deeply grateful for my daily spirtual practices that sustains and hold me.
I highly recommend reading Andrea Carlisle's new book "there was an old woman," because her words can revolutionize our thoughts and actions regarding ageing. I'd like to see more Substacks that deal with people over sixty-five (actual "oldsters").
Well, I'm 76 and I write about ageing healthily. When I was 42 I took up yoga and I gave up eating meat. Science tells us that regular exercise and a mostly plant-based diet is a good basis for leading a long life, fit and well. Here I am, still not eating meat (though I do eat fish) and still doing yoga, leading a full and active life. My next newsletter is about my feeling of being ageless. I call my newsletter Positive Ageing Matters at Patricia's Substack.
I just turned 30 this year, so I'm hoping I still have a long way to go. I think I'm most worried about how aging will affect my body. I already have invisible chronic illnesses and disabilities, so I feel anxious not knowing how to expect those will age with me. What I love about aging is getting to know myself better and reevaluating my priorities. I already understand myself so much better now than I did even just a few years ago. I feel like the older I get, the closer I am to myself.
For anyone with a fear of dementia, I would strongly recommend looking up an English woman called Wendy Mitchell. She has a wordpress blog called “Which me am I today”. Since being diagnosed with young onset dementia in her 50s (in 2014), she has written 3 books and gained an honorary PhD! Absolutely amazing and inspirational woman!
Thank you for this, Satya. At 54, having gone through multiple surgeries and living with mild to moderate pain daily for as long as I can remember, I really connected with this piece. Start with the scoring of "man points." Oh my, yes! HAHA! I remember when I first realized I had become invisible. It makes me sad, but only for a moment now and then. I find I more think to myself, I am finally free. Traditional norms around gender, beauty - it all matters less. I care more about being able to move in whatever ways I can, on whatever level (physical, mental, emotional) and I practice movement daily. I care more about fighting ageism and sexism. And now, in menopause, and being the oldest one among many in my circle, I find I celebrate my age more, celebrate what I have learned. I speak my mind more. The filter has worn thinner, and my usual overly polite tendencies have stepped aside. I do not regret aging. Then again, I do not believe in regret. So maybe that is easy for me to say. Love to you and everyone as we embark on the next phases of our human journey.
I am 78. Every day I am grateful for my good health and the world around me, which is a fairly safe and comfortable one. I am grateful for my Zen practice, all that it has given me & whatever I can give back to it. I cherish my family and friends more and more as time whittles away my time here. In return, I try to contribute to the world in whatever small ways I can.
I am terrible at accepting help and I also fear that there won't be any help available. I will probably get more opportunities to work with this as time goes on!!
Offering kindness to the parts of you that are worried. I hear them. 🙏🏻
At sixty I did Kilimanjaro. Within seven months I had also done Macchu Picchu, Everest Base camp and was well on my way to becoming a serious adventure athlete. At seventy, now almost recovered from some much-needed reconstruction work on hands and feet (I've been lifting for fifty years) I am again planning the next ten years. The way I see it, focus on what you want and work for it. Do the work to be healthy body mind and soul. And for Chrissakes stop obsessing about youth. It's gone, 'kay? It's GONE. All the time we spend obsessing about what we can't have any more is time we will never get back. Fill your life with worthwhile pursuits, friends and love, and for Gawd's sake, let it go. We all owe Nature a body.
Love this Julia. You are amazing 🤍
When I was in my sixties I decided to develop a positive mindset to help me cope with the changes life was going to be sending my way as I got older. I would recommend to you and anyone else that this be a starting point. I've since written a book about how I aged following the science. Now I'm in my mid-seventies and write a Substack newsletter about it. One aspect of ageing that I love is that it seems to rid you of some inhibition; you become freer and worry less about others think of you.
Thanks for sharing Patricia - sounds like you're doing important work. I'm loving the inhibitions slowly dropping too - some way to go, but I can be inspired by you & others!
Hi Satya.
I'm 59. My hair is about half silver now and my 27-year-old daughter told me last evening that she loves my hair being "salt & pepper" and she's looking forward to her hair being silver, too. Being a good role model for my daughter is important to me. So her casual observation about my hair made me happy. Undeniably, our patriarchal society puts a lot of pressure on women to look younger than their actual age. I say, phooey! Let's enjoy and embrace our natural aging beauty!
What helps me on my aging journey is being grateful to be alive and to be able to grow old. I have many friends and family members who have died too young. Also, for me, having a sense of humor and faith, along with the gratitude, is important. I'm by nature a serious person, so I have to work at the humor part!
I liked what Ashley Jenson had to say in a recent Guardian article: "After six years of Hollywood, I came back to the UK with my face all in the same position – a remarkable feat for any woman in this industry. I was 38 by the time I went to America, and because I was predominantly playing comedy parts there was maybe not as much pressure to be perfect. Yet I still feel so saddened that we are in a society where women, especially, feel they can’t embrace the wisdom of ageing. There isn’t as much collagen in my face as there used to be, and I’ve got laughter lines and a tummy that’s there because I’ve given birth to a child, but at least it all still works! I can walk and talk and see and hear. I’m in the middle of the menopause, and there have been times when I feel as if I am wearing someone else’s costume, like I have completely forgotten who I am, which has been quite disconcerting. But I still believe it’s an honour and a privilege to get old. While my Scottish instinct is to think, “Don’t get too carried away with yourself,” I do feel proud of what I’ve achieved. It may have taken me until my 50s to get into the lead roles, but I wouldn’t have had it any other way."
As far as what I love about aging, I love having more confidence and less cares about what others might think about my path, choices, and looks. I've found that most people really don't care a whole lot about what I'm are doing or what I look like. So, I try to focus on keeping an uplifted attitude about aging and achieving what is important to me and what is important for future generations on Earth. I like this Rumi quote: 'Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.'
By the way, Satya. you look fabulous! Every time I see a photograph of you, you are beautiful. You are gently protesting, adoring your pets and husband, enjoying nature, etc. You are so inspiring! Thank you!
Thanks for sharing Judy - love the Ashley Jensen quote and a gold star ⭐ for saying I look good (hehe) - lovely to hear about your journey and feels so important that we can share these experiences with each other. Here's to more confidence!!
So inspired by all of these comments. What an amazing community. Bowing x
Thank you, Satya. There's something about planning a wedding when you're both nearer retirement age than teen-age, with parents' ages to match, that puts one face-to-face with reality in a very complicated way. Not all bad - how could celebrating life and love be that? - but still quite raw. Nowhere to hide, as it were...
Congratulations!! And yes, I bet. I wonder if the best of life often has this bittersweet quality...
Thank you! I think it can't help but be bittersweet, if you don't/can't ignore the fact that all of it will end: that the obverse of living is being dead. And that's - as they say - OK. (Except, of course, when it isn't OK at all. No saints and no Pollyannas here)
I turned 70 this summer - just seeing it written down makes me laugh - me 70? What? How?! But I'm happy being old; of course I don't want to die, it's the ultimate FOMO isn't it, but I'm trying to get comfy with it by being grateful every single day that I wake up, still here. I'm lucky to be in relatively good health, own hair and teeth, and - big step in acceptance here, I stopped colouring my hair about 10 years ago. It may seem trivial but it was a hugely liberating moment.
I have one serious worry and that's my little dog outliving me, but it's something that will have a practical solution, in the meantime he's a wonderful reason for me to take as good care of myself as possible.
Ageing is freeing in so many ways but we need to meet it with open minds and hearts.
I am mid-60s. I remember thinking similar things as you when I was about your age. Then followed a decade of grief for my never-to-return youth - youth which was hard graft anyway!
I have now reached a remarkably free-ing stage of life I think. Here’s roughly how it is:
(1) gratitude that I am still here (many of my friends - older and younger - are not 🥀), still working, able to choose to work 3 days a week for work-life balance, relatively healthy and certainly happy
(2) I have never really been motivated by how I look, but I care even less now. I have to work harder to keep my body from hurting, but if I do that work, it doesn’t hurt - I literally have to exercise regularly, which has many and varied benefits as I age, but which previously I have been able to ignore
(3) in accepting myself for my weirdo bits, I have discovered that others also accept and enjoy my uniqueness (the joys of adult-diagnosed ADHD), so I am finally able to relax in my own skin - even at work, and my work colleagues are generous in their appreciation of my “outside the box” world 🤣
(4) I am very conscious of the timer on my life ticking, time speeds up as you age, so I try to pack in every single thing I feel happy doing, and try to facilitate that my kids and grandkids know that they can find a way to satisfy their souls sooner rather than later - that every moment counts and that happiness is often a choice.
(5) i never feel guilty or competitive - such a waste of energy!
And now I have googled Ashley Jensen, and realised that I never knew who Agatha Raisin actually was 🤣.
LOVE this Sarah. Thanks so much for sharing.
Awwww - thanks 🤗
I'm 51 and I'm oddly very happy of where I am despite some health issues like chronic migraine. I finally love my looks and body. I'm finally confident. I know what I want in life and I'm going after it. I have my own dreams after years of wishing for things that society projected on me. I'm learning new things every day. Yes, at times I do get fears around the future. I have no children or family and I do get scared of being alone in my old age. But in my experience, all the things we fear are never as bad as we picture them.
Thanks Elfin - good to have you here.
I hope I didn't come out as smug, it's just that as I started writing, I just felt this surge of gratitude for my current life. I used to be so scared of turning older and fifty sounded like the end to me. And it really isn't. We get to do so many lovely things still and I really wish my younger had heard someone say this.
Not at ALL. I think it's so important that we can celebrate the good stuff - and it always makes me happy to hear about people feeling happy with their looks and body. The patriarchy!!! I hope there are younger people hearing you too - and I'll count myself as one of those too.... 😂 (50 next October!)
Every minute counts! It's a huge milestone, no denying it 😁
Glad that you're on the other side & it's feeling good - see you there soon!
I'm 66 and retired 2 years ago. So grateful to be alive for this last part of my life. I'm not so much worried about death and dying, more so about the how of it. Especially re: medical issues. I've been relatively healthy most of my life. I don't have much faith in western medicine so I'm diving deeper into herbs for self-care. My biggest worry has been out living my sons. They're grown humans now and each have had their fair share of rough patches with the patches still popping up. My most recent felt sense of getting old is my back molar that after decades is starting to break apart. It's the first time I'm thinking"because of my age", I'm not spending $$$$ on a crown or an implant, simply get it extracted. So, that feeling of decay and the natural course of one's body breaking down and having love and tenderness for this body that's carried me so far! Oh! And deeply grateful for my daily spirtual practices that sustains and hold me.
I highly recommend reading Andrea Carlisle's new book "there was an old woman," because her words can revolutionize our thoughts and actions regarding ageing. I'd like to see more Substacks that deal with people over sixty-five (actual "oldsters").
Well, I'm 76 and I write about ageing healthily. When I was 42 I took up yoga and I gave up eating meat. Science tells us that regular exercise and a mostly plant-based diet is a good basis for leading a long life, fit and well. Here I am, still not eating meat (though I do eat fish) and still doing yoga, leading a full and active life. My next newsletter is about my feeling of being ageless. I call my newsletter Positive Ageing Matters at Patricia's Substack.
Oldster is great! I love seeing the multiple perspectives. Excellent callout.
I just turned 30 this year, so I'm hoping I still have a long way to go. I think I'm most worried about how aging will affect my body. I already have invisible chronic illnesses and disabilities, so I feel anxious not knowing how to expect those will age with me. What I love about aging is getting to know myself better and reevaluating my priorities. I already understand myself so much better now than I did even just a few years ago. I feel like the older I get, the closer I am to myself.
Love that last sentence. Inspiration for us all.
Fear of dementia.
For anyone with a fear of dementia, I would strongly recommend looking up an English woman called Wendy Mitchell. She has a wordpress blog called “Which me am I today”. Since being diagnosed with young onset dementia in her 50s (in 2014), she has written 3 books and gained an honorary PhD! Absolutely amazing and inspirational woman!
Thanks Sarah - bookmarked! Jo - I hear you.
Thank you for this, Satya. At 54, having gone through multiple surgeries and living with mild to moderate pain daily for as long as I can remember, I really connected with this piece. Start with the scoring of "man points." Oh my, yes! HAHA! I remember when I first realized I had become invisible. It makes me sad, but only for a moment now and then. I find I more think to myself, I am finally free. Traditional norms around gender, beauty - it all matters less. I care more about being able to move in whatever ways I can, on whatever level (physical, mental, emotional) and I practice movement daily. I care more about fighting ageism and sexism. And now, in menopause, and being the oldest one among many in my circle, I find I celebrate my age more, celebrate what I have learned. I speak my mind more. The filter has worn thinner, and my usual overly polite tendencies have stepped aside. I do not regret aging. Then again, I do not believe in regret. So maybe that is easy for me to say. Love to you and everyone as we embark on the next phases of our human journey.
Hehe man points... we should make that a 'thing'.
Great to hear of your experience. Love back!
I am 78. Every day I am grateful for my good health and the world around me, which is a fairly safe and comfortable one. I am grateful for my Zen practice, all that it has given me & whatever I can give back to it. I cherish my family and friends more and more as time whittles away my time here. In return, I try to contribute to the world in whatever small ways I can.
I worry I'll be a burden.
Thanks for sharing, Sarah May.
I am terrible at accepting help and I also fear that there won't be any help available. I will probably get more opportunities to work with this as time goes on!!
Offering kindness to the parts of you that are worried. I hear them. 🙏🏻