"I had also been a teensy bit fixated on the stats since my arrival here three months ago. There was a buzzy, go-get-em, ever-so-slightly desperate energy that was interfering with my other motivations. What was wrong?" I love how you've identified Inner Capitalist Eddie as a part - I have one too!
This is a wonderful post, Satya. If you are making a living as a writer, or trying to, I'm reminded of this quote from Anna Brones' wonderful book, LIVING LAGOM, that says:
"Unless we're inordinately rich and can spend our days doing whatever we please, we must make money to put food on the table and a roof over our heads. For most of us, there is no getting around the fact that we have to work."
I don't know that living in the framework of a capitalist society necessarily makes one a capitalist, particularly if one bucks the system whenever possible. When it comes to subscribers, I pay marginal attention to how many subscribers I have – it's a curiosity to me, mostly, and kind of a game. I barely do anything for paying subscribers that free subscribers don't also get; one post/month and I'm considering eliminating that too. The mindset that tells someone that "I'm paying, therefore I should get more!" isn't one I'm down with, and anyone WITH that mindset isn't going to stick around my newsletter very long anyway because we just won't likely see eye-to-eye on anything. THAT is the mentality that keeps capitalism churning along burning up the world and I'm opposed to it.
My biggest struggle is how much it costs for people to participate in the workshops and things I do with various organizations. I couldn't even afford to do them myself and it bums me out. I'm wrestling with that, and considering giving up some of those opportunities and going DIY on versions of them myself at a much lower cost. I'm still trying to figure that out.
But I do have an inner SOMETHING akin to your Eddie that gets suckered into spending money for STUFF all too often and I struggle against it every day. Being away from social media helps because I don't see the ads anymore, which is what social media exists for: shoveling more fuel onto our burning world. If that wasn't the case, why are all the people running those miserable applications billionaires?
It's all so complicated!
Anyway, sorry to rant in your comments. Thank you for linking me to this post. I mentioned Anna Brones – her newsletter is fantastic.
Thank you Chris - so encouraging to receive feedback - from anyone, and particularly from writers I admire like you 😊 I've subscribed to Anna's newsletter. I'm really enjoying making new connections with interesting /interested thinkers here. Yes, I have the STUFF wanting tendency too. We're seeped in this stuff from birth aren't we, can be tricky to disentangle. I'm really interested in how you don't offer extra stuff to paid subscribers - to me it demonstrates a kind of trust in humanity which is infectious. It also reminds me of an experiment we did with a mindful writing company we ran many years ago - a 'pay what you want' deal for everyone. A few folk paid a very little amount, and then someone paid a single penny, and that was hard for me to have patience with! Or course it probably says something about how much she valued herself / she probably needed free stuff and unconditional love to heal from that. And, we switched back to a standard fee plus concessions for anyone who wanted them after a while. I sway between your position and the 'offer a clear deal and ask for a reasonable amount of money' position - it's an ongoing conversation inside and being here on Substack has been lots of grist for the mill! There, you've made me rant too now 😉 bowing from here.
Well, obviously I'm not above urging people to pay if they can. They should! I certainly do. But I prefer the roadside farmstand approach: the produce is there and if you want some, or need some, no one is stopping you from just taking it, but here are the prices and a box you can put the money in. If you're hungry, eat and pay if you can ... but if you rolled up in a $50K SUV or something you BETTER pay your way, and please consider paying someone less fortunate's way too. We all need to eat, even the farmer.
Yup! And nice metaphor. I think some of the SUV guys got their SUVs from not sharing their money about so much, but they're missing out on the pleasure of giving apples away. It's all self-correcting in the long term😊
Ha! I think Eddie moves around from host to host to make sure we are all challenged to think a little bit more like capitalists. I know I've met him on my pages a few times as I've wondered what the heck I'm supposed to be doing. I loved this and think you've found a great way to move forward.
This was such a great writing. And I was - rueful is maybe the word - because I found myself thinking when reading one of your offerings last week "wait, is this going to everyone, or is this one of the special ones I'm paying for, and, if not, am I getting -enough- to be -worth it" and I did not like that line of thinking at all.
And, I struggle around money a lot and thinking of that being the voice of my inner capitalist is helpful. I am self-employed and despite decades of experience and I think a decent level of skill my fees are quite a bit less than many of my colleagues. I want loads of people to have access to my services and I know I, as a consumer, would struggle to pay the going rate. And then I also feel like I am doing myself and my family a disservice by not charging more. I know many of my clients don't appreciate the "bargain." And colleagues tell me I need to do some work around money and that I'm worth it. And it all just gets so messy. Anyway, I'm glad to have a new way to think about this and I am very happy to be freed, at least in the Going Gently nook of my life, from the grasping and greed I was feeling last week.
Ah, Elaine, thank you so much for sharing this. I recognise myself in my experience as the one who pays for other subscriptions here on Substack (and other services/products elsewhere) - am I getting a good deal? are others getting a better deal? I think these are important questions so good not to throw the baby out with the bathwater, and also great to recognise how they can hold us back from just enjoying what we receive and enjoying what we offer without ongoing expectation/checking. I hope you can find a way forwards towards charging more - but in a way that feels comfortable and gentle. Good to have you here :)
This kind, clear-eyed look at the Eddie within is balm for my writer/artist/accidental entrepreneur soul. Ideally, every new Substack writer would read this and allow themself the space to breathe and make space.
I'm joining the other voices honouring the timeliness and authenticity of this post, Satya! I trialled the Buy Me A Coffee pop-up on my blog last week, and lost a subscriber (a biggie for me, with only 18 to start with!!) I don't know if it was the button, or the subject matter of my last post (the tarot, which I appreciate doesn't resonate with everyone). But, the part of me that needs to be recognised and appreciated was mortified, and my own 'inner Eddie' is biting his nails, fretting about how to ever make pocket money from my writing. I don't want to offend or scare off my loyal subscribers, but I do want to write more, and can only do that if I make a little bit of money from it. Meanwhile, my inner critic is busy reminding me that I don't offer enough value for anyone to pay me anyway. We're complicated beings, aren't we?! I greatly appreciate your openness. It takes courage, and is profoundly helpful. Thank you X
Ah, so sorry to hear about your subscriber loss. I heard someone say on Substack recently (sorry I can't remember who or where) that we should learn to 'appreciate the churn' - that people who leave are the ones that shouldn't be there in the first place, and that this leaves some kind of space for new subscribers who will appreciate what we're doing. AND, it still sucks - especially after you doing something that made you extra vulnerable. I know you might think I'm biased, but I'm such an extremely picky reader, and you are such an extremely talented writer, and you absolutely should be receiving some financial compensation for your work in order to help you do more of it. It will come!!!! Appreciate you being here x
I know I've said this before, but my little blog may not have seen the light of day without your encouragement. You occupy a special place in my heart for being my cheerleader. Blessings and love to you X
My embarrassed-of-Eddie parts don't believe you, & Eddie is delighted 😊 Thanks Matt - I always take a bit of a deep breath before sending out posts like this, so it's really lovely to hear that it was helpful. It's a vulnerable-making business, writing, isn't it? And that's what can be so marvellous about it... 🙏🏻
Yes, definitely. What is most deeply and pointedly moving within each of us, what feels most personal and private, and what therefore feels most in need of being protected and definitely NOT aired or shared with others, is precisely what will connect most deeply with others if we can summon the will and courage to air and share it.
Ah Satya, bless you and Eddie. We all have that part, especially when we're self-employed. I am happy for you to do whatever you like with your Substack and to keep my subscription going. It's funny that you should say this today as I was having similar feelings over the weekend and updated my description of who gets what, when, on my own Substack so that I could share more with everyone! Paid subscribers are obviously very nice (and helpful to my financial situation), but I want to share my words and thoughts with people whether they can afford to pay or not.
Thanks Amanda! One of the things I love about Substack is it allows different writers to do things differently - so we can really work out what feels right for us and our parts. I too like the idea of more people seeing more writing, and balancing that with offering some kind of 'special deal' for those who choose to pay (or folk who haven't got the money right now but want more frequent posts). I've certainly been learning a lot about myself as I find my way here, helped by lots of posts by other writers pondering the same questions. I hope you find what's best for you too 😊
Yes this writing adventure on Substack seems to be a journey of discovery like no other newsletter/blog I've ever had. I'm enjoying it. I'm also hoping that my 3 paid subscribers won't be too upset by me posting more frequent public posts alongside the extras they get - 2 of them are my friends so I'm pretty sure they won't be! 😂
"I had also been a teensy bit fixated on the stats since my arrival here three months ago. There was a buzzy, go-get-em, ever-so-slightly desperate energy that was interfering with my other motivations. What was wrong?" I love how you've identified Inner Capitalist Eddie as a part - I have one too!
This is a wonderful post, Satya. If you are making a living as a writer, or trying to, I'm reminded of this quote from Anna Brones' wonderful book, LIVING LAGOM, that says:
"Unless we're inordinately rich and can spend our days doing whatever we please, we must make money to put food on the table and a roof over our heads. For most of us, there is no getting around the fact that we have to work."
I don't know that living in the framework of a capitalist society necessarily makes one a capitalist, particularly if one bucks the system whenever possible. When it comes to subscribers, I pay marginal attention to how many subscribers I have – it's a curiosity to me, mostly, and kind of a game. I barely do anything for paying subscribers that free subscribers don't also get; one post/month and I'm considering eliminating that too. The mindset that tells someone that "I'm paying, therefore I should get more!" isn't one I'm down with, and anyone WITH that mindset isn't going to stick around my newsletter very long anyway because we just won't likely see eye-to-eye on anything. THAT is the mentality that keeps capitalism churning along burning up the world and I'm opposed to it.
My biggest struggle is how much it costs for people to participate in the workshops and things I do with various organizations. I couldn't even afford to do them myself and it bums me out. I'm wrestling with that, and considering giving up some of those opportunities and going DIY on versions of them myself at a much lower cost. I'm still trying to figure that out.
But I do have an inner SOMETHING akin to your Eddie that gets suckered into spending money for STUFF all too often and I struggle against it every day. Being away from social media helps because I don't see the ads anymore, which is what social media exists for: shoveling more fuel onto our burning world. If that wasn't the case, why are all the people running those miserable applications billionaires?
It's all so complicated!
Anyway, sorry to rant in your comments. Thank you for linking me to this post. I mentioned Anna Brones – her newsletter is fantastic.
https://creativefuel.substack.com/
And here is her book that I mentioned:
https://bookshop.org/p/books/live-lagom-balanced-living-the-swedish-way-anna-brones/7278062?ean=9780399581342
(by trust I more accurately mean faith)
Thank you Chris - so encouraging to receive feedback - from anyone, and particularly from writers I admire like you 😊 I've subscribed to Anna's newsletter. I'm really enjoying making new connections with interesting /interested thinkers here. Yes, I have the STUFF wanting tendency too. We're seeped in this stuff from birth aren't we, can be tricky to disentangle. I'm really interested in how you don't offer extra stuff to paid subscribers - to me it demonstrates a kind of trust in humanity which is infectious. It also reminds me of an experiment we did with a mindful writing company we ran many years ago - a 'pay what you want' deal for everyone. A few folk paid a very little amount, and then someone paid a single penny, and that was hard for me to have patience with! Or course it probably says something about how much she valued herself / she probably needed free stuff and unconditional love to heal from that. And, we switched back to a standard fee plus concessions for anyone who wanted them after a while. I sway between your position and the 'offer a clear deal and ask for a reasonable amount of money' position - it's an ongoing conversation inside and being here on Substack has been lots of grist for the mill! There, you've made me rant too now 😉 bowing from here.
Well, obviously I'm not above urging people to pay if they can. They should! I certainly do. But I prefer the roadside farmstand approach: the produce is there and if you want some, or need some, no one is stopping you from just taking it, but here are the prices and a box you can put the money in. If you're hungry, eat and pay if you can ... but if you rolled up in a $50K SUV or something you BETTER pay your way, and please consider paying someone less fortunate's way too. We all need to eat, even the farmer.
Yup! And nice metaphor. I think some of the SUV guys got their SUVs from not sharing their money about so much, but they're missing out on the pleasure of giving apples away. It's all self-correcting in the long term😊
Ha! I think Eddie moves around from host to host to make sure we are all challenged to think a little bit more like capitalists. I know I've met him on my pages a few times as I've wondered what the heck I'm supposed to be doing. I loved this and think you've found a great way to move forward.
Thanks Elizabeth!
This was such a great writing. And I was - rueful is maybe the word - because I found myself thinking when reading one of your offerings last week "wait, is this going to everyone, or is this one of the special ones I'm paying for, and, if not, am I getting -enough- to be -worth it" and I did not like that line of thinking at all.
And, I struggle around money a lot and thinking of that being the voice of my inner capitalist is helpful. I am self-employed and despite decades of experience and I think a decent level of skill my fees are quite a bit less than many of my colleagues. I want loads of people to have access to my services and I know I, as a consumer, would struggle to pay the going rate. And then I also feel like I am doing myself and my family a disservice by not charging more. I know many of my clients don't appreciate the "bargain." And colleagues tell me I need to do some work around money and that I'm worth it. And it all just gets so messy. Anyway, I'm glad to have a new way to think about this and I am very happy to be freed, at least in the Going Gently nook of my life, from the grasping and greed I was feeling last week.
Ah, Elaine, thank you so much for sharing this. I recognise myself in my experience as the one who pays for other subscriptions here on Substack (and other services/products elsewhere) - am I getting a good deal? are others getting a better deal? I think these are important questions so good not to throw the baby out with the bathwater, and also great to recognise how they can hold us back from just enjoying what we receive and enjoying what we offer without ongoing expectation/checking. I hope you can find a way forwards towards charging more - but in a way that feels comfortable and gentle. Good to have you here :)
This kind, clear-eyed look at the Eddie within is balm for my writer/artist/accidental entrepreneur soul. Ideally, every new Substack writer would read this and allow themself the space to breathe and make space.
I'm glad Marisa. It's good to know we're not alone isn't it!
I'm joining the other voices honouring the timeliness and authenticity of this post, Satya! I trialled the Buy Me A Coffee pop-up on my blog last week, and lost a subscriber (a biggie for me, with only 18 to start with!!) I don't know if it was the button, or the subject matter of my last post (the tarot, which I appreciate doesn't resonate with everyone). But, the part of me that needs to be recognised and appreciated was mortified, and my own 'inner Eddie' is biting his nails, fretting about how to ever make pocket money from my writing. I don't want to offend or scare off my loyal subscribers, but I do want to write more, and can only do that if I make a little bit of money from it. Meanwhile, my inner critic is busy reminding me that I don't offer enough value for anyone to pay me anyway. We're complicated beings, aren't we?! I greatly appreciate your openness. It takes courage, and is profoundly helpful. Thank you X
Ah, so sorry to hear about your subscriber loss. I heard someone say on Substack recently (sorry I can't remember who or where) that we should learn to 'appreciate the churn' - that people who leave are the ones that shouldn't be there in the first place, and that this leaves some kind of space for new subscribers who will appreciate what we're doing. AND, it still sucks - especially after you doing something that made you extra vulnerable. I know you might think I'm biased, but I'm such an extremely picky reader, and you are such an extremely talented writer, and you absolutely should be receiving some financial compensation for your work in order to help you do more of it. It will come!!!! Appreciate you being here x
I know I've said this before, but my little blog may not have seen the light of day without your encouragement. You occupy a special place in my heart for being my cheerleader. Blessings and love to you X
😘
This is lovely, vulnerable, honest, wise, helpful. Thank you.
My embarrassed-of-Eddie parts don't believe you, & Eddie is delighted 😊 Thanks Matt - I always take a bit of a deep breath before sending out posts like this, so it's really lovely to hear that it was helpful. It's a vulnerable-making business, writing, isn't it? And that's what can be so marvellous about it... 🙏🏻
Yes, definitely. What is most deeply and pointedly moving within each of us, what feels most personal and private, and what therefore feels most in need of being protected and definitely NOT aired or shared with others, is precisely what will connect most deeply with others if we can summon the will and courage to air and share it.
Btw, I definitely have my own internal Eddie...
Absolutely. What a funny old job! And a wonderful one.
Ah Satya, bless you and Eddie. We all have that part, especially when we're self-employed. I am happy for you to do whatever you like with your Substack and to keep my subscription going. It's funny that you should say this today as I was having similar feelings over the weekend and updated my description of who gets what, when, on my own Substack so that I could share more with everyone! Paid subscribers are obviously very nice (and helpful to my financial situation), but I want to share my words and thoughts with people whether they can afford to pay or not.
Thanks Amanda! One of the things I love about Substack is it allows different writers to do things differently - so we can really work out what feels right for us and our parts. I too like the idea of more people seeing more writing, and balancing that with offering some kind of 'special deal' for those who choose to pay (or folk who haven't got the money right now but want more frequent posts). I've certainly been learning a lot about myself as I find my way here, helped by lots of posts by other writers pondering the same questions. I hope you find what's best for you too 😊
Yes this writing adventure on Substack seems to be a journey of discovery like no other newsletter/blog I've ever had. I'm enjoying it. I'm also hoping that my 3 paid subscribers won't be too upset by me posting more frequent public posts alongside the extras they get - 2 of them are my friends so I'm pretty sure they won't be! 😂