The idea that pushing harder doesn't always work is fascinating. It seems counterintuitive in a culture that glorifies hustle and grind. But I've noticed in my own life that sometimes, the most productive thing I can do is...nothing. It's like my mind needs that space to process and integrate before it can truly create. It's a delicate balance, isn't it? Knowing when to push and when to surrender.
Absolutely - me too. And yes it's a great question - how to know the difference between a time to plough forwards and a time to lay fallow... it feels like more of an art than a science to me. Always lovely to have you here Alexander!
Pushing did not/does not work out well for me at all! After a period of pushing in an incredibly stressful job, I experienced a nervous breakdown and developed ME/CFS. After largely recovering from that, I unfortunately had a psychological breakdown which revealed that I had actually been 'pushing' to escape the horrors of a traumatic childhood, largely hidden due to dissociative amnesia. Learning about parts, initially through The Body Keeps the Score, then through Richard Schwartz and others has been absolutely key to helping my husband & I manage the effects of these psychological injuries. I appreciate your candid posts, Satya, and the sharing of this information. I can also recommend No Bad Parts as a total laywoman - it's a simple format to follow. I also find time spent in nature with my husband and dog, yoga/meditation, painting, journaling, eating well etc are all essential :0)
Yes I totally second your recommendation and so glad you've found IFS helpful Amy - sounds like you've been on quite a journey... and hurray for those things you list. It's the simple things that really heal us, isn't it? Good to have you here.
I just connected that my entire recent ephiphany is the name of your newsletter - going gently, living lightly, are peak healingvrse materials - especially if you still have to endure something hard (not just the illness, but lets say seeking fertility on top of that too) - the only way to endure is lightly, esp when things are out fo your control. Glad to have you hear.
Very timely and loving article. I’m recovering from lung issues after a pulmonary embolism. A cough that just won’t go away and fatigue which forces me to stop. It’s so frustrating as I have so many projects in my head I’ve been sober since March due to illness then an obvious change of mindset that accompanies going through the dark night of the soul. I’ve just joined an exercise class because I thought damn it. I’m not going to let this beat me. I’m taking it slow. It’s online but with accountability. It’s difficult to know when to let go and let be and when to gently push. I don’t want my body to stagnate but after 8 months of illness, albeit sober illness, I don’t want to atrophy. Thank you for your wise words. Karen 🙏🏻💐
Congrats on your sobriety Karen and sorry to hear about your embolism - it sounds very frustrating. Yes, as Alexander said above - knowing when to push/let go is such a good question. Maybe I'll write something about this! Wishing you gentleness, patience & faith. Thank you for being here.
I've been trying to allow rather than force lately as well.
I discovered you from the Mindful Writer. I'm looking forward to reading more!
Good to meet you Elizabeth. Here's to allowing!
This was a welcome message. One I needed to hear.
The idea that pushing harder doesn't always work is fascinating. It seems counterintuitive in a culture that glorifies hustle and grind. But I've noticed in my own life that sometimes, the most productive thing I can do is...nothing. It's like my mind needs that space to process and integrate before it can truly create. It's a delicate balance, isn't it? Knowing when to push and when to surrender.
Absolutely - me too. And yes it's a great question - how to know the difference between a time to plough forwards and a time to lay fallow... it feels like more of an art than a science to me. Always lovely to have you here Alexander!
Really love this. I just read Wintering by Katherine May and am embracing winter as such a time to slow down and rest.
So glad Sophie. Winter is such a good and appropriate time to do that. And what a lovely book that is!
Pushing did not/does not work out well for me at all! After a period of pushing in an incredibly stressful job, I experienced a nervous breakdown and developed ME/CFS. After largely recovering from that, I unfortunately had a psychological breakdown which revealed that I had actually been 'pushing' to escape the horrors of a traumatic childhood, largely hidden due to dissociative amnesia. Learning about parts, initially through The Body Keeps the Score, then through Richard Schwartz and others has been absolutely key to helping my husband & I manage the effects of these psychological injuries. I appreciate your candid posts, Satya, and the sharing of this information. I can also recommend No Bad Parts as a total laywoman - it's a simple format to follow. I also find time spent in nature with my husband and dog, yoga/meditation, painting, journaling, eating well etc are all essential :0)
Yes I totally second your recommendation and so glad you've found IFS helpful Amy - sounds like you've been on quite a journey... and hurray for those things you list. It's the simple things that really heal us, isn't it? Good to have you here.
Thank you, Satya. I hope so. Hope you’ve had some news on the house-move-front.
Thanks. Still waiting. Maybe soon... let's see!!
I just connected that my entire recent ephiphany is the name of your newsletter - going gently, living lightly, are peak healingvrse materials - especially if you still have to endure something hard (not just the illness, but lets say seeking fertility on top of that too) - the only way to endure is lightly, esp when things are out fo your control. Glad to have you hear.
Yes, lightly! Wishing you bucketloads of that. Good to have you here too x
Very timely and loving article. I’m recovering from lung issues after a pulmonary embolism. A cough that just won’t go away and fatigue which forces me to stop. It’s so frustrating as I have so many projects in my head I’ve been sober since March due to illness then an obvious change of mindset that accompanies going through the dark night of the soul. I’ve just joined an exercise class because I thought damn it. I’m not going to let this beat me. I’m taking it slow. It’s online but with accountability. It’s difficult to know when to let go and let be and when to gently push. I don’t want my body to stagnate but after 8 months of illness, albeit sober illness, I don’t want to atrophy. Thank you for your wise words. Karen 🙏🏻💐
Congrats on your sobriety Karen and sorry to hear about your embolism - it sounds very frustrating. Yes, as Alexander said above - knowing when to push/let go is such a good question. Maybe I'll write something about this! Wishing you gentleness, patience & faith. Thank you for being here.
You missed friends off the list!! 😄😉😘 Having a friend like youuuu to help me be more gentle with myself really really helps ❤
Friends are the BEST. 😊