I've set aside some time to listen and read properly.The video on IFS really makes sense to me so I feel I'm starting a really important journey.The concepts aren't new to me but the 'packaging' and IFS way of describing it all is new and really helpful.
My sad part is really present at the moment and I’m letting her hang out instead of distracting her with busyness. My (actual) family don’t like it nor do my parts family.
She’s very much slower and more confused than my other parts.
This piece is so helpful and practical thank you so much. I spent 14 years working with a (male) coach that tried to impart this. It helped but didn’t land. Your exercise and patient explanations have. I also read the one with the puppies 🙂. Thank you for your generosity of spirit sharing these pieces. 🧡
I come from a culture of "busyness" and struggle with allowing myself time for self-care and kindness even when I'm feeling physically or mentally tired. I am learning to be more self-aware and to be okay with not having a traditionally productive day. I can release that part of me that tells me that doing a little is not enough, and allow myself the time and space to let go of being busy for its own sake, and to spend or reserve my energy for what matters to me in the moment. Thank you for the guidance on self-kindness without shame. <3 V.
ahhh.. this article pairs wonderfully with a cup of hot tea and a pancake. I feel like I am going forth on a assignment today to maximize kindness. My self-kindness creates ripples. Thank you Satya
Thank to those sharing about the cloaks of FAILURE and SHAME. I'm working hard to remind those parts and my JUDGMENTAL, FRUSTRATED and SAD parts that I know where they come from, that I have always done the best I could at the time even when I have done something hurtful, but still, they tell me I need to do better, I should have done better, and I know that is not logical or possible.
They tell me I cannot and should not be dependent on anyone or become a burden because that is not fair to them, and when it comes right down to it, I just want to be an equal. I keep telling the parts it's okay to feel this way, that people who love me do not believe I'm less-than even though some of the world has told me so all my life.
I try to remind those parts to find balance between giving and receiving, that accepting help from loved ones is fine, that I would do and have done the same for them, but then it all just comes around again and I forget. I can keep saying CLEAR, but then I will forget what it stands for and besides, I have so many notes, they get lost among the shuffle. And I am lousy at meditation unless I am walking. And ha, see, there I go again, saying I'm lousy and then telling my judgmental self to relax. I am reminding judgment that it's just the way my brain is, and that's okay, too.
I am reminding myself and all those parts that my brain is a bit atypical. I just don't understand how or why, and that is frustrating. I don't even know if the doctors can figure it out. I've bad a bunch of diagnoses over the decades, and no one can seem to settle on anything, and what they do say doesn't make sense to me. It doesn't match my experience. I greatly dislike labels, but I would like to know if there are others like me. I don't like feeling so alone. It makes me sad and sometimes hopeless and I have to remind myself there are others who are there, don't give up, there is always something to live for.
And then I have to tell my frustrated and sad parts to chill, it's okay, and that I may never know what's wrong, but I keep looking for answers anyway, and maybe that's not a bad thing because yes, I am deeply curious about myself and other people and many other things in the world.
Sorry to brain dump here so much, but this has weighed so heavily on me all my life and more so now, and I'm not young anymore. I have gone through decades of therapy, coaching, spiritual searches, reading, writing, self-help, etc. and you would think I would remember by now to be kinder to myself (and there is self judgment there again). It's what I would tell someone else to be, but you know, taking our own advice can be hard. And I keep forgetting when I'm in the moment. (I wish there were emojis on this interface. I'd give a big shrug and a purple heart.)
Thank you for this space and your loving, accepting heart.
I've set aside some time to listen and read properly.The video on IFS really makes sense to me so I feel I'm starting a really important journey.The concepts aren't new to me but the 'packaging' and IFS way of describing it all is new and really helpful.
My sad part is really present at the moment and I’m letting her hang out instead of distracting her with busyness. My (actual) family don’t like it nor do my parts family.
She’s very much slower and more confused than my other parts.
This piece is so helpful and practical thank you so much. I spent 14 years working with a (male) coach that tried to impart this. It helped but didn’t land. Your exercise and patient explanations have. I also read the one with the puppies 🙂. Thank you for your generosity of spirit sharing these pieces. 🧡
I come from a culture of "busyness" and struggle with allowing myself time for self-care and kindness even when I'm feeling physically or mentally tired. I am learning to be more self-aware and to be okay with not having a traditionally productive day. I can release that part of me that tells me that doing a little is not enough, and allow myself the time and space to let go of being busy for its own sake, and to spend or reserve my energy for what matters to me in the moment. Thank you for the guidance on self-kindness without shame. <3 V.
ahhh.. this article pairs wonderfully with a cup of hot tea and a pancake. I feel like I am going forth on a assignment today to maximize kindness. My self-kindness creates ripples. Thank you Satya
Thank to those sharing about the cloaks of FAILURE and SHAME. I'm working hard to remind those parts and my JUDGMENTAL, FRUSTRATED and SAD parts that I know where they come from, that I have always done the best I could at the time even when I have done something hurtful, but still, they tell me I need to do better, I should have done better, and I know that is not logical or possible.
They tell me I cannot and should not be dependent on anyone or become a burden because that is not fair to them, and when it comes right down to it, I just want to be an equal. I keep telling the parts it's okay to feel this way, that people who love me do not believe I'm less-than even though some of the world has told me so all my life.
I try to remind those parts to find balance between giving and receiving, that accepting help from loved ones is fine, that I would do and have done the same for them, but then it all just comes around again and I forget. I can keep saying CLEAR, but then I will forget what it stands for and besides, I have so many notes, they get lost among the shuffle. And I am lousy at meditation unless I am walking. And ha, see, there I go again, saying I'm lousy and then telling my judgmental self to relax. I am reminding judgment that it's just the way my brain is, and that's okay, too.
I am reminding myself and all those parts that my brain is a bit atypical. I just don't understand how or why, and that is frustrating. I don't even know if the doctors can figure it out. I've bad a bunch of diagnoses over the decades, and no one can seem to settle on anything, and what they do say doesn't make sense to me. It doesn't match my experience. I greatly dislike labels, but I would like to know if there are others like me. I don't like feeling so alone. It makes me sad and sometimes hopeless and I have to remind myself there are others who are there, don't give up, there is always something to live for.
And then I have to tell my frustrated and sad parts to chill, it's okay, and that I may never know what's wrong, but I keep looking for answers anyway, and maybe that's not a bad thing because yes, I am deeply curious about myself and other people and many other things in the world.
Sorry to brain dump here so much, but this has weighed so heavily on me all my life and more so now, and I'm not young anymore. I have gone through decades of therapy, coaching, spiritual searches, reading, writing, self-help, etc. and you would think I would remember by now to be kinder to myself (and there is self judgment there again). It's what I would tell someone else to be, but you know, taking our own advice can be hard. And I keep forgetting when I'm in the moment. (I wish there were emojis on this interface. I'd give a big shrug and a purple heart.)
Thank you for this space and your loving, accepting heart.
Chanting C L E A R - A is the hardest.
Thank you for this. It came at just the right time. My cloak of shame is weighing heavy at the moment